But it is more damaging to stay stuck there. Building a resilience to rejection is something we can work on —especially if past hurts and traumas have caused us to constantly or frequently view life through the lenses of rejection.
I’m not an expert, but I have learned through my own experiences that it is a process that we need to participate in for our own good. When rejection hits hard and goes deep, it can take specialized help to work through and come out on the other side. As you work through rejection and aquire a personal toolbox of sorts, you’ll be better equipped for any type of rejections in the future.
...or read from the show notes below.
***This week's topic:***
Getting rejected, whether it’s for a career position or in a relationship, can be one of the most challenging events you’ll ever experience. So it may be hard to believe that there is a silver lining when it comes to rejection, but it's true!
There are some positives about being rejected.
Consider these points whenever you’ve gone through an experience involving rejection:
1.You may get a “do over.” Or a second chance. A rejection likely signals an end of something.
Perhaps it’s the end of a romantic relationship. Or maybe it’s the end of going through a tedious process of a job search.
Whatever the case, when a rejection occurs, something new is about to
begin. Maybe you’ll be able to date again. Perhaps you’ll settle back in to
your current job with renewed efforts.
You get to start over when rejection occurs and that can be a real “plus.”
2.You have time to reflect on the rejection. You can ask yourself, "What part did I play in this situation?"
When you ponder how you behaved, the actions you took, and how you
might have affected others throughout whatever transpired before and
during the rejection, it can be enlightening.
Take a few moments to think about how you conducted yourself through
the situation. Be glad for the time you now have to increase your
Figuring out anything you might have done or not done can help you with a
different approach in the future.
3. Ask yourself, “What, if anything, do I want to change about myself?” If you
wish to change something about yourself, go for it!
Especially after a rejection, it’s good to re-focus back on yourself for a while.
4. Acknowledge the fate aspect of the situation. Perhaps it was fate. There may be something more fulfilling, enticing, or adventurous waiting for you around the next corner.
5. Take the bull by the horns and make some plans for your future.
What life goals do you have?
What do you need to be doing right now to get closer to
Use the clarity you have after the rejection to motivate you.
6.What did you learn from the experience?
Jot down what you learned about
yourself, the situation, the other person involved, the interview process, or
whatever else it may be.
Perhaps you learned to prepare more for your interviews in the future.
Maybe you discovered you should have listened to your gut when it told
you not to get involved with that person. Perhaps you realize now that
you gave too much in a situation without expecting anything in return.
Figure out what you learned from the process. You will undoubtedly be able
to use that information later.
7. Get to the point where you can say, “It was worth it.”
Every life experience
gives us something.
After you figure out what you learned, then you can acknowledge that whatever you went through was worth it.
The silver lining of rejection allows you a “do over.” You get time to think about the part you played in the situation. You get an opportunity to make changes in yourself and acknowledge that fate took its course.
You have a renewed option to make plans for your future and determine what you learned from the experience. Ultimately, the silver lining is that you can say,
“It was worth it.”
•Learn to move forward with confidence and purpose after a rejection.
•Rediscover your passion for life.
•Renew your efforts to discover the pathway toward the life of your
When you’re in the thick of rejection and can’t see past the painful lense of rejection, remember, Jesus was rejected and experienced the pain of rejection far greater than any we experienced. He can relate to us in our pain. And we can relate to him.
**Thanks for listening to this episode of Legacy Living Today. Legacy Living Today is a new podcast for women like you with a vision and desire to make a long-lasting impact with your most valuable asset -- your one precious life -- to explore together how we can live legacy — one day at a time.**
**Share this podcast with other legacy ladies and leave me a message. I'd be delighted to hear from you!**
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Welcome to the Legacy Living Today podcast! I'm Dawn and I am so excited to have you join me here today. Together we can explore ways to intentionally choose to break free from the tyranny of the urgent and decide to live legacy every day -- one day at a time!
Emotional self-awareness drives empathy for others. Whether in parenting or getting along with co-workers & a multitude of other relationships. If you're getting or giving the empathy advice you're not alone. "Just have empathy" can seem like a pat answer or even a shameful put-down when you've got a difficult situation or relationship issue.
I don't know if you are railing against the "you should have more empathy" mantra that's become so popular now or feeling shamed by it, (or posting it all over the place for others to see and magically solve all the relational problems of the world), but today I'd like to take a different perspective.
Let's explore -- What if empathy for others does not begin with understanding them, but with understanding yourself.
Could understanding ourselves help us have more empathy for others?
And in that same vein, as a parent of children with developmental mental-emotional delays I could ask a related question: Could my child's lack of understanding their own emotional reactions hinder his ability to show empathy for others?
Ahh...it's getting a little more complex here.
But let's simplify.
Let's focus just on personal emotional understanding & awareness. This is a biggie!
If I'm to have empathy for instance for my child who is "acting out" as we say, I need to have some understanding of what is pushing that behavior. That doesn't mean I agree with or approve of the behavior but we're talking about the child behind the behavior here.
To have some degree of understanding I'll need to relate in some manner. Pulling from my own life experiences I can understand sadness, anger, frustration, surprise . . . even contempt, embarrassment, shame...excitement, fear, confusion & others.
But if my only emotional reference is Sad, Mad & Glad -- then I am not going to have the ability to understand my own emotional states and reactions nor anyone else's to the degree necessary to be able to drum up much empathy for anyone.
As a parent, I'm certainly not going to be able to help teach these to my child who already struggles in this area of emotional awareness if sad, mad & glad or happy is all I have to reference.
So what do you think, can spending time on becoming self-aware of your own emotional states, reactions, and how that impacts you, in turn, help you become a more empathetic person and further, help you help your child or others?
Take a guess, how many basic emotions do you think there are? three, five, 10? Of course, it depends on who you ask & I'm no expert. It can help to boil things down to just a handful in some cases, but when we're talking about empathy and understanding at a more individual level it can help to further define what's going on.
What number did you say?... I'm linking an article I saw with 27 BASIC EMOTIONS! Not 3, 5 . . . 27!!
So this isn't even an exhaustive list!
Look in the podcast description for this resource (I didn't write it) & then for fun, see if you can further narrow down your own emotions in the coming week and see how you do. Then see if you can begin to notice any of them in others. Your spouse, child, co-worker, or boss. You may want to share the list and get your family to do the activity with you. Let's begin to build a legacy of empathy today, by getting to know ourselves better.
Leave me a message if this week's topic resonates with you. I'd be delighted to hear from you!
**Thanks for listening to this episode of Legacy Living Today. Legacy Living Today is a new podcast for women like you with a vision and desire to make a long-lasting impact with your most valuable asset -- your one precious life-- to explore together how we can live legacy — one day at a time.
Share this podcast with other legacy ladies and leave me a message. I'd be delighted to hear from you!
This blend is sweet, spicy and citrusy like a batch of perfect Christmas cookies! Cinnamon and clove help boost the immune system, lemon and bergamot are happy and cleansing, making this the perfect blend for hope and healing this season!
2 drops Lemon
2 drops Bergamot
2 drops Cinnamon Bark
2 drops Clove
1 drop Nutmeg
Added to the water in your cool mist room diffuser, once you start diffusing the whole room will have the comforting scent of Christmas cookies without even touching the oven.