My husband did something that really made me mad yesterday. Like, I wanted to condemn him, and stomp off and slam the door kind of mad. Was it really that bad? Probably not. But that's not the point. Did I give in to my feelings? To some degree, yes. And as I stood in my bedroom scrolling my phone, this voice whispered to me, love is a choice, an action, not a feeling.
See, you can feel love from another and for another person. That much is true. But it fades, on both ends. And when it fades, you have a choice. You can either let it fade away like the daylight and end up being led solely by your feelings, or you can choose to show love. And sometimes you will be faced with the choice to show love even when you FEEL mad.
That's what makes humans so special too. Other animals just go on their instincts. If they are mad, they show it. Happy, they show it. Enamored? You guessed it, they show it! For humans though, we have a choice in what we do and how we act.
Now, I'm certainly not saying you should stuff your feelings deep down and not deal with them. I did that for a very long while too, and it is super unhealthy and only leads to more pain. Spare yourself that pain, please. What I am suggesting though, is that you really evaluate the situation and your relationship before you react based solely on your feelings. Was it really that bad? Was the other person really trying to hurt you? Looks back at your history for answers as well. If the answers to these questions are actually yes, and there is a pattern of consistent hurt and damage, there may be more digging you need to do, may be boundaries that need to be set. Like I said at the beginning though, my hubby's offense wasn't nearly as bad as I felt it was at first. Once I was able to take a breath and think through my feelings and what had just happened, I realized that my reaction was the real problem. Was he wrong? Yes, he was still wrong in what he did. But once I took a step back, I was able to chose to show him love and mercy instead of trying to prove him wrong. After all, that is what we promised when we chose to spend our lives together.
Have you ever let your feelings lead your actions in (or really out of) love? What was the result?
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