Some of you may not know who I am. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Samantha Thomas and I am one of your Young Living Star leaders. I recently created this website to help boost my Young Living business and I want to help you do the same. Let's build our businesses together and be leaders for others on our team. We have access to so many resources that make it easy to share our Young Living products.
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I have to admit that this post has taken me a little longer than expected to publish. I have had my mind focused on other things. Despite everything that I am addressing on my to-do list, I am committing to blogging a few times a week to relieve stress. Also, I like to connect with others via Facebook and Instagram! I love getting to know all of YOU!
The purpose of this post is to discuss my experience with returning to work during the grieving process. We received the news of my father's passing on August 8th. I returned to work on August 17th. I want to start off by saying that I did not want to return to work. I did not look forward to it. It down right scared me! I experienced a lot of anxiety just with the thought of seeing everyone. That is completely out of my norm. This process has been so weird and it's hard to describe the emotions I am feeling during this process because it's truly weird. I have my ups and downs with my emotions. I sat at my desk and literally cried on and off all day . I forced myself to complete a little bit of work in hopes that it would distract me. It didn't distract me at all.
The amount of support and comfort that I received from coworkers was unbelievable. I am ever so grateful for those that stopped by my desk to visit and love on me. For those that didn't want to approach me, I want you to know that it's ok. The fear of upsetting me even more prevented some from coming by to speak to me and that's ok. However, I needed to be upset. I needed to grieve and mourn in order to continue to move forward during the healing process. Returning to work and facing it head on was exactly what I needed. The following Monday, August 20th, I finally felt closer to normal. I am not saying that this past week wasn't hard. It was hard, but I needed it.
If you're struggling with returning to a "normal" life or "normal" routine following the death of a loved one, I recommend finding someone that you can discuss your feelings with. It was extremely beneficial for me to sit down and just talk. I continued to cry and allowing my tears to flow truly made me feel a lot better. It was a release for me that took a weight off of my chest.
As always, get into the Word. I've relied on God's Word to speak to me and remind me that the grieving process is normal. God is the ultimate Father. He is our Father in Heaven who you can talk to and reveal your feelings, cares, and worries to. "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you" (Psalm 55:22). "God will take on our anxiety" (1 Peter 5:7). Reading God's Word will change your life!
Dealing with the death of my father has been extremely hard. I have experienced grief but it's a whole other experience when you grieve the death of an immediate family member. The heartache is a feeling like no other. My heart breaks for those who have lost a spouse or a child. My family and I continue to grieve and try to move on with normal life and routine. One thing that I have learned is that everyone grieves differently. There's not one person that grieves the same way. For myself, the grieving process has created a lot of sadness, peace, confusion, and anxiety. It's a continuous combination and mixture of feelings. As stated in a previous blog, my mother and my brother are grieving in their own ways.
With that being said, I don't want to get too deep into talking about grief and mourning. I want to talk about love, peace, family, friends, and support. We have received an unbelievable amount of love and support from family and friends. Let me just say.... we are thankful! We are grateful! We will never be able to express how thankful and grateful we are for each and every one of you. There have been text messages, calls, visits, plants, and donations. Not to mention, hugs .... very long hugs with tears. We are SO overwhelmed and our hearts are full. Despite the heartache we feel, our hearts do contain lots of love, joy, and peace. We thank YOU ALL for that! We are blessed beyond belief. God's plan is perfect. It's perfect and you must trust in Him no matter what you experience in life. His plan is for our good and His glory! It's hard to understand. But take heart, He has overcome the world.
Here on Earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.
Mourning the death of an immediate family member has been an overwhelming experience for me and my family. The most difficult part of this whole process has been trying to explain to my 7 year old daughter what happened to her Papa. She understands where and what Heaven is and what happens when someone dies. We have instilled in her how important it is to love Jesus. Even still, she has questions that down right scare me because I want to give her the best possible answer I can. I want to be able to answer her questions confidently.
It has been difficult to answer her questions in such a way that her beautiful, young mind will understand. We tell her that her Papa's body was very sick. He did not have anything in his body that was healthy. I also tried to explain to her that her Papa did not make the best choices. He had a sickness and it kept him from making the best choices. As my daughter's eyes began to fill up with tears, she asked "Why would Papa do that? If he loved me, why would he make bad choices?" My eyes immediately began to fill with tears as well. I could see true heartache in my beautiful child. I began to again explain to her that Papa was sick. He had a sickness that kept him from making the best choices. Repeatedly, I told her that her Papa loved her so much. Papa loved all of us so much, but his sickness took over his body and his mind. I encourage her to talk to him. When she prays and talks to God I tell her that she can talk to Papa too. She opened up and told me that she told Papa that she misses him and she loves him.
This whole process has been an opportunity for us to shape her mind in such a way that will allow her to better understand how important it is to love Jesus and what Heaven is like. We don't want to her be afraid of death. We want her to have peace in knowing that her Papa is healthy and he's watching over us daily. I tell her that it's ok to cry and feel sad. In response to her tears, I do my best to remind her how beautiful Heaven is and that Papa is not sick anymore.
As we pray before bed each night, I use Peace and Calming II to help calm her mind and relax. The relaxing aroma of Peace and Calming II is a great oil to use to help your child prepare for sleep. Diffusing the oil is a great way to help your child(ren) relax. Our family prefers to put a drop on the pillow or a stuffed animal that my daughter sleeps with. It's literally a blessing because it allows the bedtime process to be less stressful.
If you have a child that is grieving the loss of a loved one, the best advice I can give you is to utilize the opportunity to shape and mold your child's mind. It's an opportunity for YOU, as a parent, to shape your child's understanding of life after death and Heaven. Grab your Lavender, Peace and Calming, or Cedarwood to use while you pray and talk with your child. Trust me, you'll be amazed at how the oil(s) truly make such a difference in the bedtime routine. Especially when you're dealing with a child who is grieving. If you want to learn more about our experience with grief or want to learn more about oils, please don't hesitate to reach out and connect with me.
I love you all and God Bless!
The last few days have been the hardest days of my life. My family and I have been grieving, mourning, and trying to find peace in the tragedy we are experiencing. We are relying on the Word to find peace and comfort. John 16:33 says "Here on Earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world".
My story actually begins in 2012 when my father had his first seizure and was hospitalized. My father struggled with alcoholism. His body would seize when he would try to rid the alcohol from his body. The disease overtook his body and the addiction was real. He would attend AA meetings, he went to rehab, and his body would be sober during the several days that he was hospitalized. He was hospitalized several times. With that being said, he had several opportunities to better his life and remain sober. However, the addiction always won. The disease always won. The alcohol always won. Satan always won.
On Saturday, 8/4/18, my father took off on my mother's bicycle and never came home. That was the last day that my mother saw him. Honestly, it was not out of the norm for him to get on the bicycle and ride around. A few days went by, his phone died, and he still had not come home. Worry and fear came over my mother, myself, and my brother. I got to a point where I said to my husband " I am worried that my dad is laid up in a ditch dead. I need to know if he's even alive!!"
On 8/8/18, my husband called me around 4:30 pm. I was at work and preparing to leave for the day. The tone in his voice was like no other. He told me to come home. I asked why and he said you just need to come now and drive carefully. My heart instantly began to beat faster and harder. I knew in my heart that my father was found dead. I finally arrived home and there was my husband and my brother sitting at my kitchen table. They both had looks on their faces that I can't even begin to explain to you. My husband said "The police have found a body in Summerdale. The body cannot be identified so we don't know if it's for sure him or not.". There was a bicycle at the scene and going off of the description of his clothes, I knew it was my dad. It took several hours before the Summerdale police would confirm that it was him. The Summerdale Police Chief, the Investigator, and a Summerdale Police Officer walked into my home and saidj to me and my family, "The body is Wayne".
The days following the death of my father have been hard. The hardest part of dealing with my father's death is breaking the news to my 7 year old daughter that Papa had passed away. The grief that we feel is unexplainable and each one of us are handling it differently. My mom is grieving differently, my brother is grieving differently, and I have my own way of grieving. The grieving process is different for all of us. We have spent each evening gathering, spending time together, and remembering the good memories of my father by looking at old pictures. I find myself struggling in the evenings once everyone has left and we have put our children in bed for the night. I miss my Daddy. The Daddy that I have had the last several years was NOT the Daddy I had when I was growing up. Yes, my Daddy still loved me just as much but the disease would not allow him to be the husband, father, and grandfather that he was meant to be in life. We miss him terribly and are holding on tightly to the good memories that we will have forever.
If you know someone that is struggling with addiction, tell them that you love them and that you want to help them. You may feel as if there's no point because they love whatever substance they are addicted to more than family. Still.. tell them you love them. You may feel angry because they are choosing their addiction over you. Tell them that you love them. The person with the addiction is not their true self. It's hard to accept. Trust me, I know. But, still, tell them that you love them because you never know when the disease is going to win for good and you'll never have another opportunity to tell that person that you love them again. I will always feel that I should have done more. I should have text and called more. I should have asked him how he was feeling and spent more time with him. However, it was hard for me because there were MANY MANY MANY times that my father was choosing his addiction over myself and my children. That doesn't mean that he didn't love us, but addiction is powerful. If you take away anything at all from this post, I pray that you take my advice and consistently reach out to the person you know that is battling addiction and tell them that you love them. Give them resources should they show any interest in wanting to live a sober life. Tell them that you love them!!
The best way that I am finding peace in this tragedy is by relying on God's Word. Reading God's Word is a powerful way to find peace in any circumstance. I encourage you to read scriptures every day. God will transform your life through the power of His Word. Some of the Bible verses that I am constantly reading are below:
In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.
When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.
I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart and the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.
Thank you to all of our family and friends who have wrapped us in love during this difficult time. We can never truly express how grateful we are for the prayers, calls, texts, and visits. We love you all!