Empty Nester

Empty Nester

I may be in the minority, but I know there are many of us out there. The "Empty Nesters" that do not enjoy the empty nest. You know, we are the ones who started crying about the kids leaving when we thought of it even before they left. I have been quoted to say to those close to me, "Doggone-it, they went and did what I raised them to do. They grew up into fantastic adults."

While I am super proud of all three of my kids, I do miss the "full house" feeling. I never thought I would say this, but I also kind of miss the mess, the hustle & bustle, and the noise! And yet, I do also really enjoy the quiet time, being more organized, and spending the days with my amazing husband. There are days that I would like to open a special door, step back into time, enjoy, and then come back to the reality of today.

I am fortunate to have my middle daughter, Katie, and her husband, Darryl, live just a few blocks down the road from us. We spend a lot of time together and really enjoy their friendship. However, my other two kids live in other states. My oldest daughter, Nicole is in Arizona while my son, Derek, and his wife, Emily, live in Texas.

My first "bird" flew when Nicole headed off to college 2006. Tim and I filled up our truck with all of her necessities for her new adventure. On the 3 hour drive home, I admit fully that I cried quite a bit that day. Fortunately, she was also the one kid that had almost as hard of time separating from the nest as I did. She came home almost every weekend and this made it much easier, plus she came home every summer. This was a blessing!

Our second daughter, Katie, went 6 hours away from home and only came home for the summer her freshman year.  After that, she decided to stay and train with her swim team for the summer, even staying a year after she graduated. I was so happy when she decided to move home in 2014! She actually moved back into our home until she got married. (We were also lucky enough to have Darryl move in with us after he got out of the Army until the wedding!!!)

The baby. Oh, man was that one the hardest. I am not sure why because I love them all the same. But geeze!!! It was misery! Derek decided to go to school in California (we are in Colorado) and that was so far away that we flew to see his swim competitions only several times a year. It was hard also because we always went to every one of the three  kids meets for over 10 years. He also came home for the summer after his freshman year, then decided to stay in California to train. He graduated college in May of 2014,  got married at the end of May that year, then moved to TX. 

I went through a time that was so difficult that I would cry just at the thought of them. When people would talk about them, or ask how they were doing...I would cry. During visits and holidays, I would get so giddy at the thought of them coming, but several days before they were to leave I would find myself already struggling...and I would cry. When we would talk on the phone and then say goodbye...I would cry.

Then I found an essential oil that changed the crying! It is called Present Time by Young Living. I have to tell you that this oil changed my life. Every time I found myself longing for the house to be full with my kids, every time I lived back in my fond memories of the cherished things we did or had, every time I heard their name, anything that had to do with them and crying, I would pull out this oil. I put it on my wrists, my neck, around my ears, in my diffuser...every time. Then after I put the oil on; I would take the time to be thankful for the things right now. The Present Time. I would thank God that I have an amazing and kind son-in-law who was perfect for my daughter and a lovely and Godly daughter-in-law who was made exactly for my son. I would thank God that I had that phone call or that visit. I would thank Him for the fact that I HAD a son, and two daughters! I really spent time being thankful for the things in the Present Time rather than the past. It helped me get out of the tears and into the Joy. I then would put Joy essential oil over my adrenal glands to support my emotions.

If only I could help everyone that struggles as I have. It hurts. It hurts really badly. Letting go of the past doesn't mean forgetting those things. It doesn't mean that we have to not be close to our kids. It means we move into the Present Time and be Joy-ful of the things that we do have. I am making new memories. I can't say as I love having the distance; but I do so look forward to those phone calls, those cards, those special times with each one of them! And, this November we will be getting our first grandchild! That is something that we are definitely Joy-ful about and are happy to live in the Present Time for!!!

Please feel free to reach out to have a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen! I also would love to help you with the struggles that you are having and find essential oils and Young Living products that can help you as well! You are special and loved! You do not have to go at this alone.

Denise