My Blog: Thoughts, Observations & Life Lessons

     I knew you were “heading out” at 7 am; but I wasn’t quite prepared for what I saw as I watched you walk across the patio and down the steps to your car. 

     You see I know you’re Commissioned.  I know I’ve told everyone who’s questioned why I’m “allowing” you to do this Army thing that you’ve wanted to be involved in “protecting and serving” since you were in Kindergarten.  

     I know you’ve gone to Africa and Alaska to learn even more about ways to do your job well.  I know you slept on a glacier and had to get an IV because you climbed too high and too long and got dehydrated, but you did it so you wouldn’t be disqualified.  I know you rope climbed over a ravine with a full pack and thought it was great. 

     I know you’ve read more books than the average librarian, and you strive for excellence in everything you do. 

     I know those things and yet, when I saw you take one last moment to straighten your hat to make sure it was “just right” before leaving the house, I realized the name on the back of that Army hat was my last name too, and I couldn’t help but wonder what you know?

     Do you know when you walked across the patio I didn’t see a man in full gear, I saw the little boy who walked that same patio in army shorts holding a plastic gun telling his little brother to follow the path? 

     Do you know I saw the Hardy Boys books and the way you searched until your collection was complete reading every single one? 

     Do you know I saw the mischievous smile when I caught you doing something that you were being sneaky about - like convincing your toddler brother to get the cookies and when asked about it you said, “What? he got them, I’m just eating them”?

     Do you know as you descended the steps at the end of the patio, I saw you taking your first steps across the living room floor and remembered how independent you became once you knew you could get somewhere on your own? 

     Do you know as you walked just out of my sight I heard the words “I, Noah Hartzell, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States and the State of Pennsylvania against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the Governor of Pennsylvania and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to law and regulations. So help me God.”

     Do you know those words are the reason people say, “Thank you for your service”?  Do you know it hurts a little when I see that look on your face thinking you don’t feel you deserve it because you haven’t been deployed yet?   You see the thing is…when you said those words, “I do solemnly swear” - you signed up to go if they call.  You’ve made the commitment … not knowing where you will go or what you will be asked to do.  You’ve sworn to defend the United States wherever and whenever, and you continue to train to do that very thing.  THAT is why we say thank you for your service – because training to do those things, knowing someday you WILL be doing those things, deserves thanks.

     Do you know how very proud your Dad and I are?

     Do you know that the flag proudly displayed in front of our home not only represents our love for our Country, but the gratitude for the men and women who’ve sworn to protect it…including you?

     In case you didn’t know, you do now. 

     #armystrong #proudmomma

     His eyes made sure to examine every person in the line in front of him yet, he never made eye contact with one of them; he gathered his cup of steaming goodness and left.  She stood in the line and couldn’t stop pulling her coat down, first in the back then the front, making sure she glanced at others; but never once lifting her eyes high enough to look into another’s.  His order wasn’t correct and although he didn’t raise his voice, those around him could see his displeasure and as he passed the woman trying desperately to order from this menu that clearly had too many choices for her, his shaking head and roll of his eyes was a clear indicator that his morning was not going well. 

     There was one man in a blue jacket and darker blue beenie that actually reached out in an attempt to have connection with those around him waiting for their orders.  Sadly, not one person was aware of his searching eyes as he quietly waited until his name was called.  He grabbed his cup and looked at each person, one more time as if willing them to see him.  They did not. 

     I couldn’t help but wonder how many times I didn’t see searching eyes just hoping to connect with someone as I waited in a line waiting for my name to be called?  How many interactions had I missed because my eyes were searching my phone instead of being aware of the living beings who surrounded me?  How many times have I been unaware? 

     I wanted so badly for him to look my way so I could give him a big smile and say “Hi”; but I wasn’t in line.  I was sitting at a table in another part of the coffee shop, and just happened to have a clear view of him by the counter. 

      I’ve recently begun scheduling time for social media and this was a confirmation that it was a good idea.    I realized I was wasting a lot of time being a spectator to other people's life and not living my own.  Don't get me wrong, I love seeing what my friends are doing; but I realized it was also a reason I wasn't getting my own things done.  I also decided I want more a "facetime" instead of facebook.  Nothing beats the real laughs, real conversation and real people getting together.

     So Mr. Blue Jacket, who got his coffee at the shop on the corner in Center City Philly this morning, please know you may not have had interaction with those around you; but you most definitely made an impact. 

     I had lunch with one of my boys.  It cracks me up that I say “boy” as if he’s a toddler, when in fact he’s in his twenties.  We went to his favorite sushi place in town.  A place that he’s eaten so much that the waitress says, “The usual?” prior to him ordering and when she left the table, I’m told she’s making a birthday cake for her son tonight.  Personal service really is still the best!  As we sat chatting, I couldn’t help but think about how wonderful it is that although I love this person sitting across from me at the table, I also like him. 

     I’ve eaten sushi before and I like anything that doesn’t include raw fish (which really makes me wonder if technically it can be called sushi at all).  Ha

     I was told that I would be using chopsticks to eat and with a straight face said “okay”, but on the inside I cracked up thinking there was no way that was going to happen.  We spent a few minutes practicing and it didn’t go as bad as I thought it would.  He was patient as he told me several times how to hold it and then decided that I needed to mimic his holding the chopstick and once again, after a few times – I got it. 

     The soup arrived first, and thankfully – there’s a spoon for that.  It is however, very difficult to use a spoon with sides without making a slurping noise – he was quick to tell me “Don’t worry, everyone slurps when they use it.”  I’m not quite sure how I feel about that. 

     Our rolls arrived and the games began.  It wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be to get the food in the chopsticks.  The difficult part was dipping in the sauce and getting it into my mouth without wearing it.  I didn’t even attempt to look at the bottom of the roll as that would have required skill I clearly do not have yet.  I don’t think I’ve concentrated that much to eat lunch – ever.

     This fun, learning something I had never done before lunchtime, reminded me that it’s so important to be open-minded and saying “Yes” when we have the opportunity to be adventurous – okay, maybe sushi with chopsticks isn’t exactly “adventurous”; but it does require an open mind and willingness to make a fool of yourself while learning.  The best part – I spent an hour with one of my boys just talking about life and it doesn’t get much better than that. 

     I wasn’t quite sure what to expect as I entered the home of a woman I had never met before.  I was invited by two women whom I have newly become acquainted with, but who I already know are sure to become friends.  We have similar interests as not only are they involved with the same Company that I have recently joined; but they have a love for others and a love for Jesus that they aren’t afraid to share.  I was thrilled when asked to attend the meeting in hopes to learn more about growing my business.   Greeted warmly by the hostess and quickly told to grab some snacks, we waited for others to join.  There were six women in the room and five joined via computer from various parts of the country – I love that technology can connect us in so many ways!  The highlight of the meeting was listening as each woman shared what had happened in their lives this past year and what goals they had for 2018.  I learned quite a bit in a very short amount of time, and realized what a blessing these women are to so many.  Successes were applauded, struggles discussed, and burdens shared.  I truly felt thankful for the time spent together. 

     It was however, two children who made the biggest impression on me.  Although both were under the age of 11 (a sweet girl who's 10 and an incredibly well spoken boy of 6), they were not only well behaved, they each contributed to the success of my evening. 

     As each adult shared, this 10-year-old girl, clearly going on 20 (in a good way), applauded the successes and took opportunities to interject when she could.  She listened intently and as she looked at her mother with both admiration and pride, she shared that she’s been working on an idea for a business of her own.  Trust me – I’ll be sharing it with you when she’s ready to launch and have no doubt this young entrepreneur will succeed in whatever it is she puts her mind to.  When the adults finished, she was asked what her goals were for 2018 and my heart melted when she said, “I want to help my mom more”.  She elaborated on what that looked like; and even shared a few family secrets (not really secrets, more like fun facts) … oh, out of the mouths of babes! 

     Her brother, who was full of energy but able to stay content with his action figures and drawing, surprised each of us with a colored picture at the end of the evening.  Being the momma of four boys – the youngest now almost ready to drive – I can assure you, there is something special when a child gives you a piece of their creativity.  I will also tell you that the refrigerator looks quite empty without those masterpieces. 

     These children reminded me of the importance of being engaged with those around you, no matter how old or where you happen to be; whether it’s stuck in a line at the grocery store, waiting impatiently in the waiting room of a doctor’s office, or if you've been taken to a business meeting by your mom.  We can all benefit from listening to one another; and we can certainly make a difference in the lives of the children we’re around by encouraging their strengths and helping them realize their dreams.  Children need to know they’re important; that what they think and feel really does matter.  If we would try to remember, our children really are the future;  we can most certainly be a positive influence on who they become, simply by interacting and believing in them.

    I had to get gas in my car this morning.  I will admit that I absolutely despise getting gas on chilly mornings.  I will also admit that the only reason I had to go this morning, was because I didn’t want to get out of my car and pump the gas last night after getting Ben from basketball practice because it was too chilly - clearly, I don't like being chilly.  It's okay tho' because had I gotten it last night, I would have missed one of the most interesting things anyone has ever said to me.

     I drove to the station and realized that it was not yet opened.  Apparently it opens at 6:30 a.m. and it was only 6:20 a.m.   Why was I out at 6:20 a.m. getting gas you may wonder?  Well, because this morning was one of the mornings I was meeting my BFF because we haven’t been able to find evenings that work for us to chat and I needed to see her face.  So that’s what we do – we meet for breakfast.  I then drove another ½ mile to go to a station that was open and proceeded to pump the gas.  A woman, clearly dressed for work and chewing gum at a speed that must have hurt her jaw, was staring at me.  I’m not saying she was looking at me because we were the only two women pumping gas at 6:20 a.m., I’m saying she was full blown, made me wonder if I had something smudged on my face kind of staring at me.  When it finally became clear that she was freaking me out a bit, she looked at me with the most matter-of-fact face and said, “You know, I’ve often thought of just throwing my messy hair up on the top of my head ... I may just do that one day.”

    Seriously, I didn’t know what to say.  I wasn’t sure if I should be offended or flattered.  Was that an insult or a compliment?  I still haven’t quite figured it out.  What I do know is that my friend told me my hair looked far from messy, (another reason I love her), and I’ve been able to chuckle a few times today because of those words said at the pump.    

     I couldn’t help but think that I could have been offended; and yet, what good would that have done?  This early morning encounter reminded me that we all have the choice to use our words to build each other up or destroy, to bless or curse, and to spread hope or hate.  It might also be a good idea to make sure that what you’re saying to a complete stranger comes out the way you want it to be received.

     So, Miss cream-colored SUV who pumped gas on Route 248 this morning at 6:20 a.m., I hope someday you DO decide to just throw your messy hair on the top of your head and go meet one of your girlfriends for breakfast; and I also hope she stares at you for just a few moments before she tells you your hair doesn’t look messy at all.

#sometimesyoujusthavetolaugh

     I’ve always wanted to go on a sailboat.  I think there’s a beauty to them and am amazed at how fast they’re able to go.  I’ve also always wanted to yell, “All hands on deck!” and I may or may not secretly hope to find pirate treasure someday! ;)

     I’ve watched sailing contests and am fascinated at how a team has to work so hard to be sure the sails go up at just the right time.  I’ve also seen the defeat of teams who haven’t quite gotten it right and the sails either don’t get up quickly; or even worse, don’t get up at all.  I often wonder why one is successful and the other fails.  Could it be that one has practiced the art of the perfect release, over and over again?  Maybe that same one learns what type of fabric will be the best to use for speed.  Maybe they’ve taken the time to learn everything they possibly can to be successful.  The interesting thing is, although every one of those things are important, it’s the wind that powers the sail; and the wind can be unpredictable. 

     Two Skippers can have the same boat and the same type of sail; but it’s how the Skipper chooses to set the sail that is the deciding factor between success or failure. 

     This weekend I attended a conference and learned more than I ever imagined I could.  One of the quotes I loved was, “It’s not just what happens to you in life, it’s what you do with what happens.”  -Joseph Valenzuela

     The wind blows on us all, it’s how we set the sails during the journey that determines our destination. 

It's interesting the things I overhear while waiting in lines; bits and pieces of people's conversations.  Sometimes funny, sometimes so intellectually superior that I have no idea what any of it means, and every once in awhile I hear something that really makes me think.  That happened today and I thought I'd share it.  "Negative thoughts have no power on their own, we choose how much power they have by how long we hold on to them." 

It's so true isn't it?  I can't tell you how many conversations I have had in my head when something has happened or something has been said that I'm upset about.  98% of the time, the conversation never actually happens and yet, I spent a lot of time trying to prove my point - to myself.   So from now on, I'm going to be intentional about either tackling the issue head on or letting go of the negative thought. 

We may not have control of what others say and do; but we certainly can make our part of the world a little brighter by choosing joy and spreading hope.   

          Our laughter causes almost every person in the restaurant at one time or another to glance our way; and we know they’re wondering what one table of women could possibly find so funny.

          What they don’t know is it can be anything from the latest shenanigans of one of our children, a work story, the hysterical comments made by the comedian of the bunch, the husband stories, the boyfriend drama or just the pure joy of being together sharing life.  I listen to each of them intently.  I watch as their expressions change when they share words of heartbreak or concern, and want so badly to have the right words to say. 

          Each of us in our own season and yet so perfectly connected.

          These women.  These funny, articulate, adventurous, sometimes crazy, sometimes irritated, sometimes searching for words themselves … are all absolutely beautiful and yet, they don’t know it.  They see the gray hair, the age spots, the extra weight, the wishing there was more weight in one place or another!  They see the negative and yet, it’s the positives that make us want to schedule the next dinner before we leave because we can’t wait to do it again.

          Why is it we can’t see our own beauty when it’s so easy to assure another of theirs? 

          Take the time to share what you see and help them understand they are beautiful and loved.  We all need it.

Did you ever read someone’s story and although you understood, there were things written that totally stuck out to you? Something you just wish you could talk to them to find out the reason they included it?  I read about a man who was in prison and literally chained so he couldn’t escape.  At one time he was terribly cruel to many people; but now he no longer agreed with the government that he used to be part of.  What struck me was the fact that even though he was in prison, his letters were always in one way or another, encouraging those who he wrote to. 

He talked about not only what was happening in his life, but about the importance of being unified as a people and the importance of faith.  He wrote about love and how being involved in community is essential to thrive as a person.  He talked about hardships, being beaten to sometimes near death; yet, through it all, he had hope.    In one of his letters he wrote, “Remember my chains. Grace be with you.”  I don’t think he wrote “remember my chains” for me to be focusing on all the horrible things that were happening to him in prison.  I believe he wrote those three words to remind me that even though he was in chains, he still had hope.  He knew that the reason he was in prison would someday be the very thing that would set him free.

This person was Paul – the writer of many books of the Bible.  I can relate to his story to a very, very small degree, as I had been in chains at one point in my life.  Not physical chains; but I was bound nonetheless.  Emotional chains that were extremely difficult to get free from.  I can also relate because the very same thing that released his chains, released mine – faith in Jesus.  It’s my prayer that as I write,  I’m honest and real about what life is like, and yet I want to be encouraging, always pointing others to the hope they too can have in Jesus.

     I watched as he stood beside the casket viewing the second of two brothers who had died within 43 days of one another; and in true Grandpa fashion, when he’s not quite sure of himself, he didn’t speak.  He just lowered his head and slightly shook it from side to side; sighing heavily as he walked away.  I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking as his parents and siblings have all passed away and now, it’s just him. 

     Looking at the photos taped on poster board documenting the life of this Uncle, I was once again reminded that NOW is the time; because no matter how long I live, I want the pictures to be of sharing life in places I visited and adventures I participated in – outside of my comfortable little town and maybe just a little bit outside of my comfort zone.   

     Honestly, I’m not sure of the “point” of this post.  Maybe I needed to write it down…to find a place to put the sad mental picture that was created in my mind. 

     So my friends, take what you can from these words; but remember this…to everything there is a season - they aren’t unlimited, so make the most of them!

     “At Your Age."  Isn’t it interesting no matter what our age, when we hear those words, it tends to be a negative thing and that it starts when we’re very young?

     As a child you want to do something fun with your older siblings and are told, “You can’t at your age, you have to wait until you’re older.”

     In the teen years we’re told, “You don’t know what you want at your age – you have to wait until you live a little, then you’ll understand.”

     When you’ve “lived a little” you hear things like, “I wish I were your age, from both those younger than you and older!

     When you’ve lived a lot, they say “You can’t know what I’m going through”, as if they forget that we were once the age they are now. 

     Could it be, that not only are we hearing the words; but also believing the lies those words hold?  Words like, “Only the young are beautiful”, or “Only the old have wisdom”, or “Only those with the most “likes” are important”, or “You’ve made to many mistakes to change now”, or “You can’t do that, you’re too ________(fill in the blank)”. 

     There is a generation of young people who are so involved with technology they’re missing real live connection, a generation who is moving so quickly they’re passing so many beautiful things without seeing them, and a generation who’ve just stopped because they feel like they can’t keep up. 

     What if we decided our age is truly just a number?  What if you decided right now that you want life to change – not saying that life is “bad”; but recognizing that maybe there’s something you want to do and haven’t yet, maybe there is a hobby you’d like to begin, maybe a place you want to visit, or maybe you know you want to do something but just aren’t sure what – talk with your spouse or a friend and let them help you figure out what it is. 

The important thing is ... DO SOMETHING.