You have a choice to make.
Decide who you want to be – the person you want to be – the traits of the person you want to be on the other side of this struggle.
Decide.
Then take small, actionable steps to become that person.
Are you the person that whines and makes excuses (however valid they are) for all the things that you didn’t accomplish?
Yes, there is a whole lot going on that we have no control over…we are all going through the yuck! Some of us way more than others...
I start to go crazy when I focus on the things that I cannot control. Like when the school district couldn’t give me answers to the basic questions concerning not only my girls education come fall but also the status of my job (I am a building substitute). I started to feel anxious….waiting for someone else to do their job to give the school the info they need so that I could get the info I needed to make an informed decision. Do you see how long that chain is? And how much of it do I control…not much.
I instead turned my focus to the things that I could control. I can control my mindset. I can control my positive thinking. I can control MY actions and MY accountability. And I focused on this. I started what is called #75hard with Andy Frisella … a MINDSET challenge that checked off a lot of the boxes for me. It’s just challenging enough where I have to put effort into it but not exhausting to me. The perfect balancer for me.
I struggle with following through on things after the initial wave of excitement has passed. This challenge will help me focus on staying consistent for 75 whole days.
This challenge incorporates working out, eating well, drinking water, and avoiding alcohol all wrapped up into it.
This challenge is a personal challenge. There aren’t daily check in or people making sure I do the work. Nope, it comes down to me, myself, and I. I said I would do this so I am. I am 30 days through it and I am feeling better and accomplishing more in my life – both business and family life – simply because I have turned my focus and efforts from something I can control instead of giving my energy to something I couldn’t.
I don’t know what it is in your life that will release you…free your anxiety at the same time as positively impacting you to be the person you described above. I just know I am coming out of this mentally and physically fit. And even if THIS, whatever this is, doesn’t go according to plan (can we say goodbye 2020?) I know that I will be closer to the version of me that is proud of herself when I am by myself.
Don’t stay in the yuck. Take action. Literally.
Find something that depends solely on you committing to it and planning for it. Or check out the #75hard.
Take back your power! 2020 can be the best year yet!
It is within your control.
You just have to change your MINDSET.
DECIDE.
Have you ever actually read the back of those gummy packages you find at the store?? Those little packages that are so prevalent with all the kids…
Here’s a snippet from a top brand: fruit puree, corn syrup (which is sugar), sugar, modified corn starch, gelatin, natural and artificial flavors, red40, blue1, carnauba wax (also used to make candles!!), preservatives, and added vitamins.
I got tired of telling my kids NO! all the time so we searched out a healthy alternative.
Delicious and so much healthier! No dyes, no preservatives, no wax…Happy mom, happy kids.
NINGXIA RED GUMMIES
Ingredients:
½ cup juice (we try to find not from concentrate 100% juice – my girls love cherry or pomegranate; we have used fruit juice in a pinch too)
½ cup NingXia red
4 Tablespoons unflavored gelatin
I get my unflavored gelatin here: https://amzn.to/34fGTuL
2 Tablespoon raw honey
I get my honey here: https://amzn.to/2E6qP3y or from local farmers when available
6 drops of Vitality essential oils
Get them here: https://yl.pe/73gh
Directions:
Heat juice in a pan until hot
Whisk in gelatin until dissolved
Remove from heat and add in NingXia and honey, whisk to combine
When mixture is combined add in essential oils (My girls love citrus fresh, lemon, lime, tangerine)
Transfer immediately to silicon molds
Here are some super cute molds that you can use – these are not the exact ones I have but will work great! https://amzn.to/31el90p
Cool in fridge for 1 hour
After cooled, pop out of mold and store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to a week…that is if there is any left to go back into the fridge after your kids try their first bite!
Hint: Not just for kids. Adults love them too! Get one before they are gone.
My daughter was diagnosed with a milk allergy when she was 13 months old. She cannot consume it or anything with it. But, here’s the kicker – she also cannot touch it - they call it contact reactive.
This knowledge let me down a very strange road, one that I most likely never would have gone down. But we will do anything for our kids, right?
Here is a basic list of items that she cannot use from the store or she will break out in hives and swell:
- conditioner
- shampoo
- sun screen
- lotions
- hand soaps
- laundry detergent
And the only thing she is allergic to is milk. Yup – milk.
Here’s where my world was rocked. Because we do not consume personal care items, companies do not legally have to list all the ingredients found in their products. And even if they do, many ingredients are really just categories that can include thousands of ingredients labeled as just one ingredient.
What am I saying – there is NO WAY for you to know what is actually in those products. If you call the company, they won’t tell you because either they will claim it to be a trade secret OR worse yet, they simply do not know. That's right, they do not know the ingredients in their own products.
Bananas!
As if this wasn’t enough – I actually found a couple products here and there that she could use. But the next month she couldn’t. Again, I had to call the company again and again to find out why. Want to know what I was told? Oh, the formula was changed. This means that the ingredients within the product were changed. AND THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO INFORMATION ABOUT THAT CHANGE ON THE BOX OR BOTTLE.
There are only so many hours I can spend on hold or talking to baffled reps from companies. There are only so many times I could watch my child suffer through hives and swelling before I said enough is enough.
And now we make our own. It’s that simple really. Now I KNOW what is in our products and my daughter doesn’t suffer from swollen eyes, red rashes and hives.
Most people are okay with this until they learn that I make our own sunscreen. They push back and tell me how “unsafe” that is and how I am put my kid at risk. I simply smile and nod at them now. I know they don’t live our life. We have been making our own sunscreen now for 3+ years…we spend hours out in the sun and we don’t burn. I did plenty of sampling tests on myself before I ever put it on my kids. I am Mom, the CEO of my household, the finder of lost things, and the fixer of problems. We had a problem. Now we don’t. I am calling my mom win from the roof tops and I share with you today in hopes that you can make an informed decision for your family and your kids and find success like I have.
And if it’s not for you, no biggie, keep buying whatever it is you are buying from the store. We are all trying to do what’s best for our kids, right?
Here’s our homemade sunscreen recipe:
- 1 T shea butter
- 1 T coconut oil
- 1 rounded T beeswax
- 1 T carrot seed carrier oil
- 1 T red raspberry seed carrier oil
- 1 ½ T zinc oxide (do not inhale powder, work in well ventilated area)
- 10 drops each skin essential oils: myrrh, s. frankincense, lavender, Melrose
Combine first three ingredients in a double broiler and melt to combine under low to medium heat. Once mixture is combined, remove from heat and allow to cool for a few minutes. Add in liquid carrier oils. Carefully add in zinc oxide, stir well – avoid clumps! Add in essential oils and transfer to a 4 oz container
I am a liar. I break my promises. And I speak negatively.
But ONLY to myself.
I lie, to myself. I break promises, to myself. I speak negatively in my head.
I don’t know when it started really. I think it was when I became a mom and I had to put others needs before my own. How many of you have ever had to pee so bad, but you didn’t, because you didn’t want to wake the sleeping baby in your lap? How many of you forgot to eat lunch while you were busy fixing and re-fixing lunch for your kids? I would get the girls to bed, and start watching a show saying I would only watch one…only to find myself clicking the next episode button…
I would say yes to everyone else and silently say no to myself.
Over and over again...
I didn’t even realize it at first. But after a while, it became apparent that I would decide to do something good for myself and my brain would just go along with it, knowing FULL WELL that in the morning, I would again hit snooze before I got up. Or that I would say I would get out and do that 30 minutes of exercise but when the time came, my brain would revert back to all the other times in my life where I told myself I would do something and didn’t and I simply would end up NOT going and doing the exercise. And at the end of the day, I would yell at myself, again, for breaking promises to myself, again.
Maybe it’s not exercise for you? Maybe it’s healthier eating? Or maybe it’s cleaning and organizing?
Whatever it is, I finally said enough is enough. And I FORCED myself to stop lying to myself. I took small steps that I knew I could stick to and built off those successes to build even bigger and better wins. In time, this turned into habits. And habits shape where your life is going.
Here are three steps you can take today to move towards healthy habits:
1. Focus – focus on ONE habit that you want to ADD to your life. It is easier to add something in than it is to take something away. My first healthy habit that I added was drinking half my body weight in water every day. Focusing on one habit and following through with that habit trains your brain to start trusting you again.
2. Plan – a goal is just a dream, until you make a plan. For my water intake, I set an alarm in my phone for 8 am, 10 am, 12 pm, and 2 pm. Then I got myself a 20 ounce, stainless steel water bottle. I would drink it throughout the day, but when the alarm went off, if I had any water left in the bottle, I had to stop whatever I was doing and drink it. Because those alarms meant it was time to refill my water bottle. Trust me, chugging 20 ounces of water is not all that fun. So you learn, quickly, to take sips throughout the day.
3. Write it down – don’t type it, actually write it down with pencil and paper. Write down your goal. Write it on your bathroom mirror. Write it in your diary. Wherever. Everywhere. Here’s the KEY – write your goal as if you’ve already accomplished it! Positive mindset! Say it to yourself every day. Your brain will catch up to the words. Here’s mine:
I drink 80 ounces of water daily so I am fully hydrated to be the best me I can be.
You are not alone in this fight. We are a community of Mommas who are learning that implementing healthy habits doesn’t take away from those that need us, quite the opposite actually. Healthy daily habits allow us to show up the best version of ourselves – not only for our kids, our spouse, our parents and siblings, but also for ourselves.
Ready to learn more?
