When Anxiety Can Lead to a Secret...and More Anxiety
When did I first become anxious? It was actually a very long time ago, when I was quite young. I have a clear picture in my mind of my Mom and I, standing in the yard of the farmhouse we lived in; we lived in one part of it, my grandmother in another, and a tenant in a third part. We were in the part of the yard just outside of our apartment. She was trying to zip up my jacket, and was growing fearful and anxious. A storm was coming – the sky was getting darker, the wind was whipping up, and she was kind of frantically asking: “Where’s Don (or, your father)?!” 
I don’t know why she was anxious and afraid – maybe because of the brewing storm. All I know is, that when I do the Aroma Freedom Technique on myself, and I’m asked to think of a time long ago (or not so long ago) when I felt the same way I’m feeling right then, my mind always takes me back to that moment. 
Don’t get me wrong; I love my Mom, and she was a wonderful Mom. She’s gone now, and has been with Jesus for 18 ½ years. But, she instilled a fear and an anxiety in me that I’m not sure has ever gone away. 
The secret I kept for so long was the abortion I had 33 years ago. In part, anxiety led to that terrible decision. Afterwards, when I was newly pregnant with our older son, anxiety also crept in. As it did when I raised him. Now sometimes, the anxiety made me a better mother; other times, the anxiety made me overprotective. 
The anxiety I felt eventually led to ever-worsening insomnia. And doomsday thinking. I still experience it, but now I have tools to cope with it. I mentioned in my last blog post that I listen to inspirational music every morning; this is one way I calm myself early in the day to bring on a positive mood. Another part of my morning routine is to read Scripture right after breakfast. During this time, I also pray, and use essential oils to bring me closer to God. I then share that morning’s scripture, along with a brief commentary, on LinkedIn and then Facebook. Of course, there are some days when I don’t read the scripture until later in the day, and some days when I don’t read it at all. If that happens, I miss it. I miss my calm, sedate, time with my Savior, who’s been drawing me ever closer to Him for several years. 
There’s a few other things I do each day to keep myself calm and hopeful; such as: reading great novels instead of watching too much tv, praying continuously, and using other products to support my overall health. To find out more, come join our private Facebook group: Gentle Breezes. It’s time.
Blessings, Carol Stribula


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