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The day we busted my Father In Law out of the Nursing home | Verna Smoker Oils and emotions, Getting your loved one out of the nursing home during the Covid Crisis Using essential oils for anxiety Using essential oil when dying.



The decision was made...


We busted my 'father in law' out of the nursing home and brought him home to our house. When Covid hit, life became a night mare for anyone living in a nursing home and ... so it was with my husbands parents.


Loneliness, feelings of isolation and separation had become more then my dear 'father in law' could bear. Separation from his wife was torture for him and almost too much to bear. How in the world did this even happen?


 My father in law was in skilled care and my 'mother in law' had a small apartment at the nursing home. Bu The two of them were not allowed to be together. This was so wrong, so inhumane.  Besides...they were husband and wife for 70 plus years. 


His health was quickly declining due to the toll it took on his emotional welfare which then ... affected his physical health. 3 years prior he had a stroke which took away all ability to use the left side of his body and now due to the Covid Crisis and CDC guidelines, his health was quickly deteriorating.


Imagine, think about it, not seeing his wife or 10 kids and many grandkids and great grandkids for months on end. Despair set in....


The phone rang.... Hello, We are calling to let you know your dad is not doing well and there are signs he may not be with us much longer.

My husband and I and our kids looked at each other with tears in our eyes as we discussed the possibility of our dear dad and Grandpa, dying and taking his last breath alone.

We wouldn't have it. We just couldn't let him die on his own....

The next few days as we worked with hospice and the support of the nursing home, we had a plan and he was coming home to our house. How would it all work? We didn't know. We hoped we were doing the right thing. The best part ... Mom was coming too!

The day he came he was still able to talk some. Here's what he said in his weak, tired, high pitched voice. "This is a dream come true!!!" And he asked me several times.... "Is this really for real?" 
I gently laid my hand on his head and with tears in my eyes and a knot in my throat I said... yes dad, it’s for real. 
It’s then that I knew..." We did the right thing."
 


Dad even got to take a stroll out the drive way on his wheel chair and gaze over the cornfields that he at one time farmed.😀
Imagine...as he felt the sun on his brow, the feel of the wind blowning through his hair for the first time in over 6 month!

Dad was with us for 10 days before he passed. His wife,10 children, grandkids and great grandkids surrounded his bed singing to him, quoting his favorite scriptures, and loving on him as he peacefully passed from this earth to his heavenly home to spend eternity with Jesus. What a glorious moment that must have been for him. 

Because of the oils girl that I am... I always had the diffuser on with peaceful and calming oils drifting through out the room as we cared for him and his personal needs .... turning him every 2 hours, massaging his back with oils so not to get bed sores, puréeing his food, etc. It was an honor and a huge blessing for the entire family to have done "The right thing"

We used a lot of oils during this time for our emotions...
When the scent of an essential oil is inhaled, the molecules travel up the nostrils to the olfactory bulb, which then transmits that info to our limbic system, also referred to as the ‘emotional brain’ — where emotions and memories are stored. 

Below are ways and ideas you can use essential oils for emotions.

Anger - Bergamot, Joy, Release, Peace & Calming, Valor, Ylang Ylang
  • Release - Father anything that is not pleasing to you, I release.
  • Peace & Calming - The peace of God will guard your hearts and mind. Phil 4:7

Loneliness - Bergamot, White Angelica

  • White Angelica - He shall give His angels charge over you.  Ps. 91:11

Fear Bergamot, Acceptance, Joy, Into the Future, White Angelica, Stress Away, Valor

  • Acceptance - Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?
  • Into the Future -The future of that man (woman) is peace.  Ps. 37:37
  • Stress Away - I cast all my cares upon you Lord.

Grief - Bergamot (turns grief into joy)  Joy, (over the heart) White Angelica (shoulders), YlangYlang


Resentment - Joy, Release,White Angelica, Harmony

  • Harmony - clothes yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.  

Preparing for Dying - Frankincense (under the nose) Joy (over the heart) Journey On (heart, wrists, neck), Surrender (on the chest), White Angelica (shoulders and feet) Into the Future (Heart, wrists or neck), Peace and Calming (diffused)



Death -  Trauma Life, Joy, Valor, Bergamot, Stress Away


You will want to know what I'm up too. Find out here@ vernsmoker.com/sayyes





Oils and emotions, Getting your loved one out of the nursing home during the Covid Crisis Using essential oils for anxiety Using essential oil when dying.

1 Comment

  1. Such a good post.

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Meet Verna Smoker

 

The moment we heard the doctor say…


“ITS A BOY”


My husband and I were over the top excited with the birth of our second child.


Those words were music to our ears, UNTIL the music was drowned out by, “Your baby boy has a birth defect, your son is born with spina bifida”. The next few days were a blur of emotions. I was scared, really scared.


I was 22 years old. We were young parents. This was not suppose to happen!


We were told that our baby would need a shunt placed in the ventricles of his brain to relieve the pressure of the spinal fluid on his brain, better known as, hydrocephalus. This was all so foreign and terrifying. Surgery after surgery became our baby’s life.


FEAR, SADNESS, ANGER, DISAPPOINTMENT, GUILT and BLAME on MYSELF became part of my world. Would our baby boy have brain damage? Would he walk? Let alone…live?

Surgeries and long hospital stays all took a toll on my emotional well being.


Instead of being raw and vulnerable with my feelings, I buried them. I was “Super Mom” (or at least that’s what I thought). I learned to wear a mask and I was good at it. I looked the part and I acted the part because I was “Super Mom”. 


However, I pushed my feelings down DEEPI pretended they were not there. This way I DID NOT NEED TO FEEL so deeply. It took awhile to notice, years to be exact, but I was slowly losing control of my emotions. My stress was going through the roof. Panic attacks and depression became real in my life.


Years passed.... 


At the age of 23, our son developed a brain infection which caused him to have colonic status seizures (you know, the kind that do not stop except through medicinal interventions). TERRIFYING to watch!

To top it all off, my husband survived a heart attack (thankfully he is doing well), my mom died of breast cancer, and a few years later my dad died of bladder cancer.


All of this added even MORE STRESS and WORRY.


By Gods grace, and because of our deep faith in HIM, we have and continue to weather the storms. 


Because of the RESEARCH I've done, today, WE DO LIFE differently. We’ve discovered ways to implement and make changes that support our IMMUNE SYSTEMS as well as our EMOTIONAL and BRAIN health. We’ve made changes in the amount of TOXINS that we surround ourselves with. We have become more aware of how “toxic exposure” has an affect on the internal structure of our brain and can trigger both short and long term effects. 


I’ve also found ways to manage my stress level. Those terrifying panic attacks no longer torment me. We have  found the tools we need to live our BEST LIFE, and for that, I am grateful. 


It's our life, and though there are parts of it that we continue to look for solutions in, we will continue to move forward. 


LIFE IS A JOURNEY, and it is BEAUTIFUL. 


If any part of my story connects with your own story I would love to chat and connect with you.



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