Since it’s Valentine’s Day is this week, I thought I would share a little bit about the importance of spending time with your spouse and how to make it fun. Some might think that Valentine’s day is overrated. It certainly is one of the busiest times of the year for florists and a huge money-making season for Hallmark.
Looking past those things, we know that Valentine’s day can be a fun time to show your spouse a little extra love, and maybe give them a special gift like chocolates or flowers. Don’t limit yourself to once per year though. Surprising your spouse every now and then can spark that love and romance that is so needed in relationships.
The world moves at a tremendously fast pace. It’s virtually impossible to disconnect from work, social networks, media, news, even friends and family. Life is often an overload of emails, voice mails, instant messages, profiles, kids’ activities, schedules, and the endless desire to know about what’s going on around you.
It’s far too easy to let the important things in your life slip through the cracks and get lost in the chaos. Days could go by without speaking to family members or sharing deeper moments with your spouse.
Spending quality time with your spouse is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!
What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust. Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through handholding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction
Make quality time intentional
Finding moments for quality connections in marriage takes planning. It requires intentionality. Quality time rarely happens by chance. There are many things that can get in the way of finding moments together. It’s also possible that the time you spend together has become stale. Yes, even quality time can become routine. Perhaps you need to recharge your relationship. Spending time with the one you love is important in every relationship. While this may seem obvious, it’s these times of deeper connection that will sustain you during the lean times.
Quality time presents opportunities for growth
I believe we are designed for relationships, and relationships are the best place to grow up together and individually. I’ve heard many times that marriage is not about happiness, it’s about growing and developing into a better human. Happiness may come along at times and it’s most often found in quality time with your spouse, but it’s your growth that enhances and sparks the relationship for the long haul. Whether the quality time you create with the one you love is a few minutes each day, an evening a week, or a weekend away, all it takes to make this happen is commitment and choice.
Ways to find more quality time and even a few things to do during the time
- Give up your TV
- Disconnect the Internet
- Walk together in the evening, you can even take the kids
- Send emails or quick messages to each other during the day
- Listen to music and even slow dance together
- Cook dinner together
- Pray together
- Schedule a time each week
- Establish a consistent date night at least once a month
- Stick to a bedtime routine with your kids (even have them go to bed early some nights)
- Trade evenings watching kids with another family so each set of parents can have a date night
- Find a regular babysitter
- Use your vacation time, even half days in order to be together in the afternoon
- Play board games as a family, or with your spouse
- Enjoy a cup of coffee or glass of wine together on the couch
- Sit together outside and look at the stars
- Read together
- Play card games
- Snuggle together and watch a movie
- Go to a movie and snuggle, hold hands
- Reminisce about favorite memories together
- Have dinner by candlelight
- Hold hands often
- Hug
- Have lunch together during the week
- Turn off the radio riding together in the car
- Take a shower or bath together
- Bike ride together
- Leave little notes for each other around the house
- Say “I love you”
- Have a picnic (even if it’s in the living room)
- Go to bed early
- Have sex
It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected. These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.
Let’s make the most of our Valentines and enjoy every day together!
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