Happy March!
Spring is right around the corner and it is one of my favorite times of the year. It is about this time of year that many women like to get in shape or lose weight so they can fit in their swimsuits when summer arrives.
If you are struggling with your weight, you may find that a healthy eating plan and regular physical activity help you lose weight and keep it off over the long term. So in this blog, I’m going to share some tips with you on the importance of weight management.
Maintain, Don’t Gain
Maintaining a healthy weight is important for health. In addition to lowering the risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and high blood pressure, it can also lower the risk of many different cancers. So move more and eat less! Turning off the television and skipping the sugary drinks are two ways to get started.
Your weight, your waist size, and the amount of weight gained since your mid-20s can have serious health implications. These factors can strongly influence your chances of developing the following diseases and conditions: Cardiovascular disease, heart attack, stroke, diabetes, cancer, arthritis, gallstones, asthma, cataracts, infertility, snoring, and sleep apnea.
Your weight, your waist size, and the amount of weight gained since your mid-20s can have serious health implications. These factors can strongly influence your chances of developing the following diseases and conditions: Cardiovascular disease, heart attack, stroke, diabetes, cancer, arthritis, gallstones, asthma, cataracts, infertility, snoring, and sleep apnea.
If your weight is in the healthy range and isn’t more than 10 pounds over what you weighed when you turned 21, focus on maintaining that weight by watching what you eat and exercising. Because most adults between the ages of 18 and 49 gain 1-2 pounds each year, stopping and preventing weight gain should be a priority. Gaining weight as you age increases the chances of developing one or more chronic diseases.
Middle-aged women and men who gained 11 to 22 pounds after age 20 were up to three times more likely to develop heart disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and gallstones than those who gained five pounds or fewer. Those who gained more than 22 pounds had an even larger risk of developing these diseases.
Adult weight gain—even after menopause—can increase the risk of postmenopausal breast cancer. Encouragingly, for women who had never used hormone replacement therapy, losing weight after menopause—and keeping it off—cut their risk of postmenopausal breast cancer in half.
Does Being Overweight Reduce Mortality?
You may have seen news coverage of a study claiming that being overweight and obese may reduce mortality, but a panel of experts discussed why the general public should not rely on these flawed study findings.
The main flaw of this study is that the normal weight group, which showed an increased mortality risk compared to the overweight group, included more heavy smokers, patients with cancer or other diseases that cause weight loss, and elderly people suffering from frailty. There was no distinction made between these unhealthy normal-weight people and lean healthy individuals. The overweight and obese groups did appear to have a lower mortality rate than this mix of healthy and very unhealthy normal weighted individuals, and this flaw led to false conclusions that overweight, and grade 1 obesity carry no risk and may offer reduced mortality.
What Causes Weight Gain?
Diet - The quantity and quality of food in your diet has a strong impact on weight.
Genes - Some people are genetically predisposed to gain weight more easily than others or to store fat around the midsection. Genes do not have to become destiny, however, and studies suggest that eating a healthy diet, staying active, and avoiding unhealthy habits like drinking soda can prevent the genetic predisposition to risk for obesity.
Physical Inactivity - Exercising has a host of health benefits, including reducing the chances of developing heart disease, some types of cancer, and other chronic diseases. Physical activity is a key element of weight control and health.
Lack of Sleep - Research suggests that there’s a link between how much people sleep and how much they weigh. In general, children and adults who get too little sleep tend to weigh more than those who get enough sleep. There are several possible ways that sleep deprivation could increase the chances of becoming obese:
- Sleep-deprived people may be too tired to exercise, decreasing the “calories burned” side of the weight-change equation.
- People who don’t get enough sleep may take in more calories than those who do, simply because they are awake longer and have more opportunities to eat.
- Lack of sleep also disrupts the balance of key hormones that control appetite, so sleep-deprived people may be hungrier than those who get enough rest each night.
Young Living has a Slique bundle that can help you lose the pounds that you want, and help you get into that swimsuit that you’ve been wanting to wear for a long time. Join my Freedom-n-Joy Essentials page if you are on Facebook, as this week I’m sharing on Slique weight management.
My husband and I are parents of two adult daughters on the Autism Spectrum. When you’re the parent of a child with special needs, every aspect of parenting is magnified. We had many challenges with them growing up. There were many trips to the doctors, worries about how they will act in public, stares from strangers, day-to-day struggles with behaviors, fewer dates for just the two of us and so much more. But through the years, we never gave up. We tried many natural alternatives trying to find answers. Six years ago, we found Young Living and that is when we started noticing significant decreases in negative behaviors. The joy that was hard to find during those challenging years was restored. This week on my Facebook page “Freedom-n-Joy Essentials” I am sharing about “Oils with Special needs”. If you are a parent with a special needs child, or you know of someone, please feel free to join this group, or pass this along to someone who may benefit from this.
In this blog, I’ll share some of the daily challenges a parent of special needs children faces so that you may be better able to understand their path. With a greater understanding, it will be easier for you to extend grace or offer help. I encourage you not to look down on parents that need to decline lunch dates or outings with friends. It may be more complicated than it appears on the surface.
More Time
Between PTO meetings and work deadlines, it can be hard for any parent to find "me" time. Magnify that 10 times for parents of children with special needs who must also add IEP meetings, therapy appointments, and multiple doctor visits into the mix.
Add challenges such as driving 50 miles to get to the only dentist who will work with your child, only to learn that you'll need to come back next week to fill that cavity... and then driving 60 miles in the other direction because your kid wants to take ballet and there's a special needs ballet class on the other side of the county.
Add to that the necessary time for yourself, your partner, your other children, your extended family. The time demands add up quickly.
Energy Reserves
Not only is it time-consuming to be a special needs parent, but it's also exhausting. Add up all the energy required to raise a typical child, and then add hours a day for driving to out of town appointments, filling out paperwork, doing more research, managing your child's meltdowns, or cooking special foods for your child because of allergies, intolerances, or feeding issues.
Toss in the energy required to cope with strangers' stares, teachers' "concerns," and grandparents' worries, and it all adds up to very few hours between the sheets.
Money for Critical Expenses
Two parents working full-time should, in most cases, be able to earn enough money for a family to live comfortably. But when you're the parent of a child with special needs the costs increase. Special equipment, medicine, therapists, extra gas to drive to all those specialists—it all adds up. And many mothers of kids with special needs wind up cutting back their work hours to be available for their child, thus decreasing their income when they need it most.
Adult Friendships
When you're the parent of a special needs child, it seems that every interaction outside of work involves some aspect of special needs parenting. Even your social get-togethers wind up including mostly parents of other special needs kids, with conversations focused on "the best therapist for x" or "how special the resource room teacher is."
But just like everyone else, parents of kids with special needs crave plain, ordinary human contact. A night out with friends, a baseball game. Time to just kick back with friends and family without reference to the word "special."
A Sitter for Date Night
Parents of typical kids hire a babysitter and go out for the evening. For parents of special needs kids, it's not always that easy. Some special needs require sitters with special abilities that can range from medical training to autism expertise. Not only are such babysitters hard to find, but (naturally) they charge double or triple the going rate.
Reassurance
If your child has special needs, chances are you've spent an unreasonable amount of time agonizing over whether you somehow caused her problems, whether you've chosen the right medical or therapeutic options, whether you're doing enough (or too much) to improve her chances in life.
While no one can tell you what the future will bring, most special needs parents need a listening ear and a positive response when they feel nervous about their own choices and what the future will bring.
An Emotional Outlet
Your spouse had heard it all 50 times. Your parents have either heard it or don't care. Your friends aren't interested in hearing about your latest frustrating IEP meeting, nor are your coworkers. You can't vent to your kids.
So, who's left? By holding it in, parents of special needs kids may only make matters worse, but what are their options?
Support groups can be helpful, but to get to them you need to find the right group, clear time on your calendar, drive to the meeting and hope the members will have the time and energy to respond to your concerns.
Exercise and Nutrition
This may sound like a minor issue, but for many parents of special needs kids, there simply aren't enough hours in the day for self-care. Exercise is, for many people, a huge stress reliever. It can also be a chance to socialize with friends.
Just as importantly, a lack of exercise can lead to serious health issues. The same, of course, is true of nutrition: too many fast-food meals can wreak havoc with your digestion, weight, and wellness.
Compassionate Family and Friends
It's amazing how often even well-meaning family and friends become anxious and short-tempered when exposed to a child with even mild special needs. An autistic child doesn't want to play touch football, or a child with sensory challenges puts his hands over his ears, and everyone in the room seems to respond with judgmental surprise.
While the child himself may not be aware of the raised eyebrows and exchanged glances, parents certainly are. And while it's difficult to cope with judgments from strangers, it's much harder to let close friends' judgments roll off your back.
Resources
Schools, doctors, therapists, and agencies are all set up to help families support their children with special needs. Why is it, then, that none of these entities seem eager to actually tell families what's available, what they're entitled to, and how to get what they need?
Most parents of special needs children will tell you that you already need to know special needs law, understand the ins and outs of agency options and policies, and have a full grasp of all available therapies before stepping foot in a planning meeting for their child.
Often, parents know more than the so-called experts when they walk in the door, which means that Mom and Dad have the equivalent of several years of university training as a result of their late nights in front of the computer.
Guidance
None of us go through life more than once, so all of us are novices when it comes to parenting. But there are people who make a profession out of helping parents of children with special needs to navigate the options and pitfalls.
Most parents would be thrilled to have the help of such a coach who could tell them "ask for this, not that," or "fill in this form and you'll have access to better services for your child."
How You Can Help
If you're the friend, sibling, mom, or dad of a parent of a child with special needs you may be wondering "What can I do to help?" The good news is, there are many ways you can make a difference without changing your life or overwhelming yourself and your family.
Here are some suggestions:
- Avoid pity. While it's sometimes hard to imagine the challenges of special needs parenting, pity doesn't help. In fact, pity can reinforce the frustrations and feelings of isolation. When I meet someone for the first time and I tell them that I have two special needs daughters, I’ve heard comments such as “I’m so sorry” or “Wow, how do you do it?” or “I feel so bad for you”. Those people likely mean well but those are very hurtful words. Please don’t sympathize. Our daughters are not a mistake. God placed them in our lives for a reason and He is using us to minister to others who are in the same situation. Ultimately, God will be glorified through it all.
- Be supportive and positive. It's all too easy to get into negative talk when discussing a child with special needs. Instead of spiraling downward, though, do your best to accentuate the positive. Tell your friend or loved one that they're doing a great job and point to some of the very real positive outcomes they're almost certainly seeing.
- Be proactive in understanding. Don't be that sister, cousin, or parent who stares blankly at a child with special needs and wonders how to engage with them. Instead, read a book, watch a video, attend a class, or ask questions so that you can jump right in during family events.
- Give siblings a special treat. Many people with special needs kids have typical children who also need attention. When you can, consider taking the siblings of a special needs child out for a treat, or even chauffeuring them to their sports events and cheering them on. It's a great way to build a relationship while giving Mom and Dad a little time to themselves.
- Listen. It won't cost you a nickel to be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.
- Offer to babysit. If it's within your comfort and ability zone, give your friends a break by looking after their special needs child for an hour, an evening, or even a weekend. This is called respite care, and it's an extraordinary gift. We are very grateful to our family and respite worker for offering to watch our girls and be a huge support to us when needed. This is one of the things that helps us thrive even during difficult times.
- Pick up the tab. Loans are probably a bad idea for many reasons, but when you can it's great to pick up the tab for a lunch, coffee, or even a dinner out.
- Set an example of inclusion. Find ways to include your friend's special needs child in ordinary activities and accommodate challenges. For example, if a child with special needs has difficulty climbing to the top of a slide, give them a hand. If they're not quite understanding the rules of a game, simplify the game so everyone can join in.
- Take a walk. Give the parent of a special needs child a chance to get outside in the fresh air and get a little exercise with a friend or loved one.
Go today and be a good friend or relative to those in need. Do not judge but instead offer to help in any way you can. You will be appreciated more than you know, and you will be blessed in return.
Since it’s Valentine’s Day is this week, I thought I would share a little bit about the importance of spending time with your spouse and how to make it fun. Some might think that Valentine’s day is overrated. It certainly is one of the busiest times of the year for florists and a huge money-making season for Hallmark.
Looking past those things, we know that Valentine’s day can be a fun time to show your spouse a little extra love, and maybe give them a special gift like chocolates or flowers. Don’t limit yourself to once per year though. Surprising your spouse every now and then can spark that love and romance that is so needed in relationships.
The world moves at a tremendously fast pace. It’s virtually impossible to disconnect from work, social networks, media, news, even friends and family. Life is often an overload of emails, voice mails, instant messages, profiles, kids’ activities, schedules, and the endless desire to know about what’s going on around you.
It’s far too easy to let the important things in your life slip through the cracks and get lost in the chaos. Days could go by without speaking to family members or sharing deeper moments with your spouse.
Spending quality time with your spouse is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!
What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust. Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through handholding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction
Make quality time intentional
Finding moments for quality connections in marriage takes planning. It requires intentionality. Quality time rarely happens by chance. There are many things that can get in the way of finding moments together. It’s also possible that the time you spend together has become stale. Yes, even quality time can become routine. Perhaps you need to recharge your relationship. Spending time with the one you love is important in every relationship. While this may seem obvious, it’s these times of deeper connection that will sustain you during the lean times.
Quality time presents opportunities for growth
I believe we are designed for relationships, and relationships are the best place to grow up together and individually. I’ve heard many times that marriage is not about happiness, it’s about growing and developing into a better human. Happiness may come along at times and it’s most often found in quality time with your spouse, but it’s your growth that enhances and sparks the relationship for the long haul. Whether the quality time you create with the one you love is a few minutes each day, an evening a week, or a weekend away, all it takes to make this happen is commitment and choice.
Ways to find more quality time and even a few things to do during the time
- Give up your TV
- Disconnect the Internet
- Walk together in the evening, you can even take the kids
- Send emails or quick messages to each other during the day
- Listen to music and even slow dance together
- Cook dinner together
- Pray together
- Schedule a time each week
- Establish a consistent date night at least once a month
- Stick to a bedtime routine with your kids (even have them go to bed early some nights)
- Trade evenings watching kids with another family so each set of parents can have a date night
- Find a regular babysitter
- Use your vacation time, even half days in order to be together in the afternoon
- Play board games as a family, or with your spouse
- Enjoy a cup of coffee or glass of wine together on the couch
- Sit together outside and look at the stars
- Read together
- Play card games
- Snuggle together and watch a movie
- Go to a movie and snuggle, hold hands
- Reminisce about favorite memories together
- Have dinner by candlelight
- Hold hands often
- Hug
- Have lunch together during the week
- Turn off the radio riding together in the car
- Take a shower or bath together
- Bike ride together
- Leave little notes for each other around the house
- Say “I love you”
- Have a picnic (even if it’s in the living room)
- Go to bed early
- Have sex
It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected. These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.
Let’s make the most of our Valentines and enjoy every day together!
If you were to ask, many people would undoubtedly express that they believe the purpose of life is to enjoy it. However, so many people struggle to be present and actually experience their lives as they are. The culprits are varied and can include everything from unrealistic expectations to trying too hard to feel good (it is, after all, something you have to allow). Here, how to make the most of your life, starting right now.
When you’re struggling, the most insulting and difficult thing that someone can tell you is to “just relax,” or “just enjoy” yourself. I’ve been told many times to “just relax”. When you’re in survival mode, the last thing you can possibly think about is just sitting back and rolling with the punches. But this is the most important part of learning how to enjoy your life again.
Stop trying to be happy
When we go through trials that are endless, we tend to stop having hope and stop being happy. “Happiness is as a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you”
Happiness is not something you can chase. It is something you have to allow. This likely will come as a surprise to many people, as the world is so adamant about everything from positive psychology to motivational Pinterest boards. But happiness is not actually something you can coach yourself into.
Happiness is your natural state. That means you will return to it on your own if you allow the other feelings you want to experience to come up, be felt, be processed, and not resisted. The less you resist your unhappiness, the happier you will be. It is often just trying too hard to feel one certain way that sets us up for failure.
Live in the present
There’s a saying that if you’re anxious, it’s because you’re living in the future, and if you’re depressed, it’s because you’re living in the past. When you’re living in the present moment, you realize that both the past and future are just current illusions in the infinite, eternal now and that they are actually ways in which you can avoid being in your body.
The only place to find happiness is in the present because that’s the only place it truly exists. Trying to find happiness by focusing on what could or might happen in the future is actually a process of disassociation. Practice living in today by focusing on taking life one day at a time and doing the most with what you have in front of you currently.
There’s a fine balance to be struck between living for the moment and taking care of your future self, and it is not only possible but also how you’re meant to live.
Stop trying to assert dominance
People who want and need to assert their dominance in relationships are the ones who always in arguments over hypothetical things, creating drama at important holidays or events, or otherwise finding that the very people they are supposed to love and cherish most receive the worst of their behavior.
In order to find greater happiness, you need to see yourself as an equal to those around you. When you view yourself as in a position to constantly learn from all those you know, you are no longer compensating for fearing you are “beneath” them.
Lean into the little joys when you find them
When we think of trying to “enjoy” life, it’s common for our minds to think about achieving things that are huge, overwhelming highs. We think that being happy is only what happens when we’re on vacation, or just landed a huge bonus.
This, however, is actually the opposite of happiness, because it's conditional. True happiness is actually embracing the little joys in life. The sunrise on a warm summer morning, your cup of coffee, an amazing book. It is being grateful not only for when big things happen but also for the small good things that you can find in each and every day.
Most people severely overthink happiness. They assume their lives have to be in perfect working order for them to experience real joy. This is not so. Real joy is finding happiness where you are, and how you are.
Nurture positive relationships when you have them
Regardless of whether or not you are introverted or extroverted, the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your experience of life. Tons of research backs this up: we become most like the people we spend time with; our happiness is directly correlated with not the number of relationships we have, but the quality of each of them; being lonely is as much a risk to your health as smoking.
However, what most people interpret this to mean is that they should just make friends where they can find them, and be close to their biological family, even if they dislike them. That’s totally missing the point. Happiness is not contingent upon you forcing relationships you don’t want to be in. It is, however, contingent upon your building and fostering relationships with people you already like.
When you have someone with whom you really have a connection, go out of your way to make sure you see that person and keep your friendship healthy.
Learn something new all of the time
When you come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as failure and that you are a constant learner, you experience life in a new depth. Failure is not just a disappointment; it is, in fact, a new way of personal growth. Without “failing” you wouldn’t grow at the rate that you did without it. Don’t ever get discouraged because something didn’t work out, and always see failure as an opportunity to rise higher to your greatest self.
When you approach life as though you already know all there is to know, you are actually closing yourself off to potentially having new and better experiences. If you assume that you know what will happen when you try something new, or if you think you know what places you haven’t been to would be like, you might just want to leave some room to surprise yourself.
Think of life as something you can constantly learn from. Your pain teaches you what does not feel good, and what you should not continue to do. Your joy teaches you what does feel good and in alignment. Everything can be your teacher, and the more you allow your life experiences to shift and change you, the better you (and they) will become.
See challenging times as opportunities for transformation
Happy people aren’t joyful all the time, and this is an important distinction to make. In fact, genuinely happy people are more at peace than they are ecstatic about everything they experience.
This is because happy people are inherently coachable and changeable. They are not stuck in their ways. They understand that life requires growth, and when that growth stagnates, the discomfort begins to arise.
The true nature of life is constant movement and constant evolution. If you do not keep up with that, life will all but force you to change as it becomes less and less comfortable to stay where you are. You cannot avoid all pain, but you can absolutely avoid a lot of suffering by staying focused on your internal growth.
Be wary of what you give your energy to
Sure, most people realize that if they work a job they dislike or stay in relationships they despise for the majority of their lives they aren’t going to feel too great about it. What many don’t realize, however, is that there are far more significant things that we constantly offer our energy to that create the quality of our lives.
Those disliked jobs and stale relationships aren’t problems, they are symptoms, and at the root of all of it is where you allow your mind to run. When you give your energy to certain thoughts, they gain life. There’s a saying that the wolf that wins is the one that you feed, and when it comes to the quality of your life, you need to be extremely careful of what you allow yourself to think. It will soon become what you feel, and then what you believe, and then how you behave, and sure enough, the way you live.
Schedule time to do nothing
Happiness is an active pursuit as much as it is a passive one. Though to feel fulfilled each day is absolutely a conscious choice (it isn’t going to happen by accident, FYI) the irony of really feeling good is that it’s not something you can force, it’s something you have to allow. Therefore, you have to create spaces in your life to savor the quietness, the nothingness, the whatever of what’s in front of you.
Happiness is not filling your schedule to the absolute brim in order to wring the most you possibly can out of every second of your life. It is also taking time to embrace the mundaneness of everyday moments. It’s sitting back and reading a book, talking over dinner with someone you love, just enjoying the small things each day. Taking this time won’t happen on its own, you have to plan for it.
Take time to schedule play
When we were kids, all we did was imagine and play. Our brains were our canvasses, and we inherently understood that we could make believe absolutely anything and spend the day living it out.
The same is true in adulthood, but over the course of a few decades, the world tends to have a way of beating the magic out of you. If you really want to enjoy life, you have to make time to do what you loved to do when you were young. Paint, play in the sand, play games you love, be creative for the sake of it.
If that all sounds childish, good. It means you’re ready to reconcile with your inner child who, by the way, is and always has been there all along. Enjoying life is living it out in both the simplest and most transformative ways possible. Part of that is simply letting yourself show up and be who and how you are.
Go and be happy today, slow down, smell the roses and enjoy life!
Have you thought about something you'd really like to do, but then figured that you don't have time for it? Many of us spend so much time doing what we feel we must do that we don't have enough time for what we would like to do. I will admit I am one of those people.
Sometimes it’s hard to find time for ourselves because we are busy taking care of others such as our kids, spouses, parents, etc. You may feel that you don't have enough quality time for your family or solitary activities. The trouble is, not having time for those things can leave you feeling stressed and unhappy. This is why it is so important to find time for yourself and not feel guilty.
The Benefits of Down Time
The ability to find time in a busy schedule is important for a few reasons. Having enough time for leisure activities, time alone, and simple do-nothing time is vital for maintaining balance. When you have time for yourself, you can:
- Explore your creativity.
- Develop and explore your interests
- Build mental strength
- Plan for your future
- Relax
- Learn more about yourself
- Improve emotional regulation
People, particularly introverts, need time to rest and regroup, and the amount of necessary downtime increases during times of stress. In other words, the more stressed you are, the more you need that downtime. If you would like to increase your level of happiness and life satisfaction this year, one of the best changes you can make is to find more time in your schedule for a life that reflects what you'd really like to be doing. Following are a few tips to find that time.
De-Clutter Your Schedule
Take a hard look at how you spend your days and see what can be cut. Some questions you might ask yourself include:
- Are you watching several hours of TV per day?
- Could you be more efficient at work?
- Are there things on your schedule that could be dropped without serious ramifications?
- Could you delegate some responsibilities to free up more time?
This can be a bit tricky because you may need to have some of that extra time just to decompress. You don't want to force yourself to be operating at full capacity 24 hours a day when you may need to relax with a rerun now and then.
You might also find that you are spending time on things like social media out of habit rather than out of a need for a break. Or you might be wasting time in ways that you don't actually enjoy without realizing it. Dropping some of these time-wasters can make you feel accomplished in other areas that are more important.
Carving out a little time here and there can add up to a greater feeling of personal freedom to do what you'd really enjoy.
Learn to Delegate
Are there responsibilities that you have at home or at work that could be delegated to assistants, family members, or others? Some possible ways to delegate include:
- Re-assigning cleaning responsibilities to children, for example, can free up time normally spend on housework and foster a sense of responsibility in your kids at the same time.
- Hiring help with tasks that really drain you can often leave you with enough extra time and energy that it's more than worth the expenditure.
Allowing someone else to take over a task can bring added benefits. They may find that they're better at it than they thought they would be (or than you thought they would be). They may also enjoy the feeling of helping out. At the very least, it could bring a sense of teamwork.
Learn to Say "No" With Minimal Stress
Before you take on any new responsibilities, carefully think about how these activities would impact your life, both in a positive way and negatively. Think also about your motivations for possibly saying "yes."
- Do you just want to avoid feeling like you're letting someone else down?
- Do you tend to convince yourself that you have limitless time in your schedule, then find yourself with time for everyone else but you?
Decline requests may bring some fallout, but it's often worth it. Saying no becomes much easier with practice. When you know how to say no without inviting unnecessary scrutiny or sparking hard feelings, it becomes even easier.
Plan Your Downtime
One way to make sure that you get at least a little time to yourself each day is to plan for some "non-negotiable" downtime activities. For example, if you'd like to start exercising more, plan which days you plan to work out and then schedule the rest of your day around those things. Some ways to carve out time for yourself (even when you are busy):
- Set boundaries and make sure that other people know they are not allowed to interrupt during your downtime.
- Prioritize and get the "must do" tasks done early so that you have more free time to work with.
- Work on creating a tranquil space that you can enjoy, whether it involves making a playlist of your favorite songs or decluttering a room to make space for your hobbies.
- Work on turning your "me time" into a habit and make it part of your regular routine.
Incorporating your downtime activities into your day means you are more likely to actually have time for them.
Try Mini-Breaks
Taking time for yourself doesn't always have to involve clearing a big chunk of free time in your schedule. In fact, it is important to take small breaks periodically to recharge and refresh. Some ideas for a quick break include:
- Practice deep breathing
- Do a short meditation
- Stretch
- Do some challenging brain games
- Have a healthy snack
- Write in a gratitude journal
- Read a book or magazine article
- Chat with a friend
Don't wait until you reach the point where you feel like you simply cannot take it anymore. When you feel like you need a break, walk away for a few moments to clear your head, even if it's just to relax a few minutes with a cup of coffee or enjoy a stroll around the block.
Carving out time for yourself in a busy world can be a challenge. However, it is essential for your sense of balance and mental well-being. The key is to prioritize your downtime. Don't leave it as something that might happen if you are able to accomplish everything else on your busy schedule. Instead, intentionally set aside some time each week to do the things that you want to do.
Make it a goal this year to make time for yourself and keep a journal of what you did. At the end of the year, look back and read your journal and see what a difference it made in your thinking and your health.
Be blessed today and take some time for yourself!
