[This week's blog post from Lisa]
Do you love sunset/sunrise? There's just something about the beautiful colors God paints the skies with every morning and evening. It gives me so much peace, which I especially needed today.
It was an exceptionally hard day. This isn't something I talk much about, but I realized today that I have been intentionally avoiding this subject because I have some healing to do. Healing is hard work.
In 2017, right after I had my daughter, we also adopted a son. We had so many plans and dreams for our newly expanded family. The day the adoption was finalized was one of the happiest days of our lives.
What we didn't know, was heartbreak was right around the corner. We were lied to by the state, as much information about our son's past trauma and abuse was withheld from us. We had no idea what he was capable of. I won't go into everything that happened, but our lives were in danger and we were faced with some very tough choices to not only protect ourselves and our other children, but also to protect our adopted son for more trauma.
In the end, we placed him in a home with guardians who could better provide resources he needs, with no other children in the home, with the agreement we would continue to be part of his life. If all worked out, they could choose to adopt him with an open adoption. We were quickly cut off, lied to, hurt, blocked from any access to him, and they're not abiding by the written guardianship agreement. We've been supporting him financially every month from Day 1.
I am not his birth mother, but he is my son and I have lost him. My pain is real, but dismissed by the other party. The wound was reopened today and I realized I have some mindset work, trauma processing, and lots of praying, and forgiveness to work on. Not just for myself, but for the other party too.
Looking forward to another sunrise tomorrow.
"Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5
It was an exceptionally hard day. This isn't something I talk much about, but I realized today that I have been intentionally avoiding this subject because I have some healing to do. Healing is hard work.
In 2017, right after I had my daughter, we also adopted a son. We had so many plans and dreams for our newly expanded family. The day the adoption was finalized was one of the happiest days of our lives.
What we didn't know, was heartbreak was right around the corner. We were lied to by the state, as much information about our son's past trauma and abuse was withheld from us. We had no idea what he was capable of. I won't go into everything that happened, but our lives were in danger and we were faced with some very tough choices to not only protect ourselves and our other children, but also to protect our adopted son for more trauma.
In the end, we placed him in a home with guardians who could better provide resources he needs, with no other children in the home, with the agreement we would continue to be part of his life. If all worked out, they could choose to adopt him with an open adoption. We were quickly cut off, lied to, hurt, blocked from any access to him, and they're not abiding by the written guardianship agreement. We've been supporting him financially every month from Day 1.
I am not his birth mother, but he is my son and I have lost him. My pain is real, but dismissed by the other party. The wound was reopened today and I realized I have some mindset work, trauma processing, and lots of praying, and forgiveness to work on. Not just for myself, but for the other party too.
Looking forward to another sunrise tomorrow.
"Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5
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