I hadn't planned to write this, but something in me kept nudging me to do so.
I tried not to think about the significance of yesterday's date, September 11, 2021. As an empath, thinking of such horrific events, the evil, the fear, the pain and suffering, the lasting effects on the first responders and others who were right there in the middle of it...it can be very overwhelming. I found myself exhausted just trying to manage and process it all, so I went to bed early, only to dream of those events all night.
Like most of us who were old enough to remember, I know exactly what I was doing and where I was at the moment the first tower was hit. I was newly pregnant with my first child and was at work in my in-laws' flower shop. One of our delivery drivers hurriedly came in, asking if we'd heard the news. We didn't have a television there, so we tuned in on the radio. From that moment on, no one spoke a word. We sat there in silence as we listened to the events of that day unfolding. I was fearful of the world I was bringing a child into and what might happen next. My heart was shattered for New York, the passengers on all of the flights, their families, the first responders and their families, and for our great country that had just been so savagely attacked.
In the days, weeks, and months that followed the worst attack on the US in history, our country joined together in a way I'd never seen before and have never seen since. We looked beyond race, color, gender, beliefs, politics, and other differences. We were just Americans. We put others first, we helped each other, cried with each other, prayed with each other, and we celebrated our great country.
It's hard to believe it's been 20 years. The child I was pregnant with at the time is now a grown man. Our country has never forgotten what happened that day or those we lost as a result of that day. It seems though that we've lost our patriotism and love for our fellow Americans somewhere along the way. We've spent so much time focusing on our differences that we've forgotten about what makes us all the same - we're all human beings, we're all imperfect, we're all unique and have a special purpose, we're all Americans, and we all have the ability to love one another.
It's hard to believe it's been 20 years. The child I was pregnant with at the time is now a grown man. Our country has never forgotten what happened that day or those we lost as a result of that day. It seems though that we've lost our patriotism and love for our fellow Americans somewhere along the way. We've spent so much time focusing on our differences that we've forgotten about what makes us all the same - we're all human beings, we're all imperfect, we're all unique and have a special purpose, we're all Americans, and we all have the ability to love one another.
When did we become a selfish nation? Where is the love and respect we had for each other 20 years ago? It's time to take a hard look at that day and remember we are not immune to horrific events, terroristic or otherwise. We need each other. We need to support each other and stop looking for reasons to disagree or hate each other. We need to celebrate our differences and lift each other up. Let's honor all those lives lost by building this country back up to the greatness it once was. It isn't too late to change the narrative.
Where were you that day? Do you remember the patriotism after the attacks?
It seems we're told our whole lives not to express emotions.
Don't be afraid.
Don't feel bad.
Don't get your hopes up.
Don't worry.
Don't be jealous.
Don't be sad.
You're too positive. Too negative. Too confident. Too sensitive.
Why are feelings and emotions (especially those considered to be negative) so taboo? Could it be that we just don't understand them enough and don't want to work through them, so it's easier just to deny their existence, bury them, or blame them on others?
The funny thing about emotions is they kind of have minds of their own. When in a perceived dangerous situation, the amygdala, a small area in the center of the brain, takes over and produces the "fight, flight, or freeze" response, allowing one to act without thinking. Sometimes the amygdala takes over even when not really necessary. Have you ever acted without thinking, even when you weren't in danger?
An emotion usually includes a physical response as a flush of chemical reactions happen in the body: sweaty palms, rapid heart rate, sick stomach, tight chest, etc. The brain stores its responses to stressful stimuli in the body in case they're needed again later. The next time the brain perceives a similar situation happening, it will recall and use the same responses. For example, a child rejected by his father will subconsciously remember the events and physical responses that led up to the feeling of rejection, and will react in the same way over and over again throughout his lifetime as a response to any further perceived rejection unless or until he processes and corrects that pattern. Eventually, the stored emotions can cause stress on the body and lead to a number of illnesses and pain. The body will not let you ignore unprocessed emotions!
The only way to change an emotional response pattern is to first acknowledge the unwanted emotion so it can be processed. This means we have to let ourselves FEEL. When we're intimately in tune with our bodies, we can learn to recognize the emotions and their physical responses so we can respond proactively, allowing those emotions to process through and out of the body instead of taking up residence and wreaking havoc.
An emotion usually includes a physical response as a flush of chemical reactions happen in the body: sweaty palms, rapid heart rate, sick stomach, tight chest, etc. The brain stores its responses to stressful stimuli in the body in case they're needed again later. The next time the brain perceives a similar situation happening, it will recall and use the same responses. For example, a child rejected by his father will subconsciously remember the events and physical responses that led up to the feeling of rejection, and will react in the same way over and over again throughout his lifetime as a response to any further perceived rejection unless or until he processes and corrects that pattern. Eventually, the stored emotions can cause stress on the body and lead to a number of illnesses and pain. The body will not let you ignore unprocessed emotions!
The only way to change an emotional response pattern is to first acknowledge the unwanted emotion so it can be processed. This means we have to let ourselves FEEL. When we're intimately in tune with our bodies, we can learn to recognize the emotions and their physical responses so we can respond proactively, allowing those emotions to process through and out of the body instead of taking up residence and wreaking havoc.
One processing technique I like to use is:
- Start by thinking about an emotion you struggle with: rejection, anger, bitterness, unworthy, anxiety, grief...anything that feels strongest for you.
- Close your eyes and allow yourself to really FEEL that emotion for a moment. Think about situations that triggered that emotion.
- Breathe deeply, allowing the emotion to flow out and the opposite of that emotion to flow back in (i.e. exhale rejection, inhale acceptance). Since the sense of smell is directly connected to the limbic region of the brain, the part that controls emotions, I like to combine this technique with my favorite emotion-supporting essential oils like Frankincense or Sandalwood.
- Breathe in the oil while focusing on exhaling the unwanted emotion and inhaling the opposite side of that emotion. Don't rush it. Really focus on looking inward and continue breathing into the emotions until you feel the "negative" clearing out. Say affirmations to reinforce the positive side of your emotion (i.e. for acceptance: "I accept all that I am) while you continue breathing in the oil.
- The number of times an emotion will need to be processed is different for everyone, so you may need to repeat many times a day for several days.
Please seek the help of a qualified mental health practitioner if you have thoughts of suicide or thoughts of harming others.
Do you have specific emotional blocks that you wish to be free of?
I've been working through some hard stuff in my head lately. God's been nudging me, in that gentle way that He does, to follow His lead. I'm stubborn. I have been told I have a great amount of faith, but sometimes I feel like I'm failing in the faith department when He calls me to do big things and I hesitate. Growth is hard, y'all!
Whenever I'm in the car alone, I pray. I'm a busy mom with a VERY active almost-4-year-old, so the car rides alone are pretty much the only place I can get quiet and listen to what God is telling me. This morning, I was getting real with Him about my hesitations and He showed up in a big way. His beautiful artwork in the sky appeared at just the right moment as if to tell me, "I've got you, child. I know this is hard."
I often feel incredible guilt and shame for the moments I fail Him, but He reminded me again this morning of how much grace He gives me, and that He is there every time I fall or feel inadequate. Guilt and shame are emotions created by humans that we use to judge ourselves. He reminds me that my measurements of self worth are not the same as His. We look at ourselves through jaded lenses, but He sees so much more than we can fathom. Each day as I walk through my growth with Him, I see a little bit more of what He has for me up ahead. I'm so grateful for His grace.
If you're feeling uncertain, lost, or alone, there is peace in our Creator. He is patiently waiting to lift you up and free you from the chains that bind.
What is weighing on you today?
