I’m not sure if I’ve told you this already, but I have been working as a women’s advocate in the anti-violence against women sector for 38 years now. I’m the Executive Director of a shelter for women and their children.
As you can imagine, this work has been, at times, heartbreaking, frustrating, and emotionally draining. There have been times when I have wanted to quit. There have been times (many times) when I have cried, out of feelings of helplessness and frustration at a system that often fails women and their children.
There have also been some happy times, fun times, and times of celebration, and I have clung to those for dear life!
So why am I telling you this? Well, there came a time during my career as a women’s advocate, when I realized that I am not invincible, not even close. I was exhausted, worn, and my usual way of coping with stress (wine anyone?) was not even a little bit helpful.
I have been fortunate to have been able to attend different conferences and workshops focused on Vicarious Trauma, and Compassion Fatigue over the years, and have come to realize the importance of Self-Care and understand that it is absolutely not selfish to take care of yourself. It’s necessary!
You can’t do a very good job of supporting and empowering others if you are struggling to hold it together yourself! If you’re going to be in this fight, you need to stay healthy and strong. You need to bring yourself back into balance when the hateful realities around you threaten to throw you down and keep you there.
For me, essential oils have been an amazing tool that I have used to bring myself back into balance. Putting on Valor (a beautiful blend of Black Spruce, Blue Tansy, and Frankincense) helps me feel calmer, stronger and less anxious. Whenever I have to do something I’m a little scared or worried about, I reach for that bottle, put a couple of drops onto the bottoms of my feet, on my shoulders and then just breathe it in.
Peace & Calming essential oil blend is one of my favourites for relaxing and bringing myself back into a state of calm after a particularly stressful time. It’s a wonderful blend of Ylang Ylang, Orange, Tangerine, Patchouli, and Blue Tansy. It’s a great blend to use just before bedtime to help you wind down after a long day.
Stress Away is another blend that I’ve been really happy I have in my essential oils collection! It’s a great combination of Lime, Lavender, Cedarwood, Copaiba, Vanilla and Ocotea and as the name suggests, it can be a great support to help you de-stress.
Can I be real here for just a second? Honestly, if I had to go searching around for products that could help me stay healthy and balanced, I think I may have just given up. Before I started using Young Living products, I had tried different things, taken different supplements (well, I bought them anyway....) but I never really made any significant changes to my lifestyle.
I honestly believe that using these essential oils everyday helped create a pathway for me to start taking my health seriously, to start caring enough about my own wellness to start making time and space for self-care.
And being able to just login to my account, order what I need, and have it be delivered to my home has made it so convenient and easy for me to keep up with my wellness goals!
I am incredibly thankful for that, because I know myself, and if it was too complicated or hard, I know I wouldn’t do it. I would have just gone back to my old bad habits. Can anybody else relate?
I think most people are like me. If it’s too hard, or time consuming, they are not going to follow through, so why not de-complicate your life? Go get yourself a Young Living account and start taking care of yourself. You’ll be so happy you did! And I’ll be right there cheering you on along the way!
Finding balance in life is not a “one and done” kind of proposition. It’s something you will constantly be trying to do. Let’s face it, life can throw you some curveballs! You may think all is going great in the direction you wanted to go, and then bam!
Something unexpected happens, you lose your job, or someone you love becomes sick, or the furnace in your house breaks down and you have to replace it, you slip on some ice and break your arm....
It can even be something good, like your career is taking off, and you’ve been given a lot more responsibility at work, or you find out you’re expecting a baby, or you get engaged to be married and now you need to plan a wedding.
All of life’s challenges and celebrations bring their own kind of stress to our lives. And as we go through them, we can become off-balance. We may not sleep as well. We may stay up later than we should and stay in bed longer than we wanted to the next day. We may feel rushed and stressed trying to get to work and get the kids out the door to school. We may grab fast food more often than we know is healthy, because it’s convenient and we’re tired and hungry and we didn’t have time to figure out supper.
We may not take the time to exercise because we’re tired and stressed, and hungry. And now we’re feeling guilty about not doing any exercise and eating the junk food, and we still have to get the kids to their activities, figure out what to feed them for supper, help them with their homework, and get them all to bed before we can relax in front of the TV with a glass of wine and a bag of chips!
Yes, folks, finding balance in life if a constant struggle. And sometimes our life circumstances make it really hard. Believe me, I get it. I have been that stressed out Mom, feeling like you’re on a never ending treadwheel, doing for everyone, and leaving yourself out of the equation.
It’s really easy to go down that dark hole, draining your energy and your joy, especially when it feels like there’s no end in sight to the busyness.
Finding balance in the middle of the chaos seems impossible, but it’s not really. It starts with a seemingly small thing. You need to breathe.
A long time ago, a counsellor who is also trained in Body Work and Therapeutic Touch, led our staff team in a breathing exercise which helped us relax each part of our body, one part at a time. It took two minutes. Everybody has two minutes, right?
We sat on a chair with our feet planted firmly on the floor, eyes closed, and breathed in, and breathed out, relaxing our toes, breathed in, breathed out, relaxing our feet, breathed in, breathed out, relaxing our ankles. And we continued on breathing like that, working our way up our bodies to our shoulders, our necks, our face and our heads.
It took two minutes, and at the end of it, we were all feeling relaxed, breathing calmer, feeling more centred.
Obviously, this was just a first step. Actually, realizing you are living your life “out of balance” is the first step. Most of us are just so used to living in a constant state of busyness and stress, that we don’t even realize how out of balance we are. Until our body lets us know, of course.
Taking two minutes to breathe and be aware of how your body feels is a gift you can give yourself today. Hopefully it will be the start (or restart) of your commitment to find balance in your life. Add a couple of drops of your favourite essential oil to the bottoms of your feet or the palms of your hands or just start up your diffuser to make this an even more grounding experience.
Start small, get some easy wins, and keep going! You got this!
I like getting up early, before anyone else is up and just easing my way into my day. I enjoy the quiet, sacred time, when it’s just me and my thoughts. I usually follow the same morning routine. Drink some water, make the coffee, start my diffuser, do some stretches. And then I’ll take my coffee over to my chair, get comfy with my blanket and my iPad, and do some writing,
I keep an ongoing list of “Gratitudes” that I add to all the time. And I sometimes write to my Dad. After he passed away, I started writing letters to him, just to let him know how I was doing, and giving him all the news of the family. It was therapeutic for me.
I don’t write to him every day now, but I still do every now and then, especially when something momentous or important happens in my life. I still wish he was here so I could tell him my news. He was always so interested in what was going on in my life, and the lives of my kids, and he was so proud of all of us.
Taking that time for myself every morning is something that I just started doing in my 50’s. I can’t believe it took me so long to figure this out, but I guess, better late than never! And to be fair, when the kids were younger, I used to think I needed to stay up late so I could have some “down time” or alone time with my hubby. And then it would be a mad rush in the morning, dragging myself out of bed, getting everyone fed, dressed and ready to go to school and work. It was often a stress-filled, miserable race to get out the door so we weren’t late.
What I discovered, albeit later in life, was that I’m a morning person. I love waking up early. I love the quiet, watching the sun come up, sitting quietly sipping my coffee and breathing in the essential oils wafting up from my diffuser.
Sitting there in the quiet is where I do my best thinking. This practice has honestly make me a better person. I feel more balanced, focused and nurtured. I’m able to tackle the day’s challenges with confidence and an energy that I never used to have.
Who knew that such a small change in my routine could have such a profound impact on my well-being? Well, as it turns out, lots of people knew this! There are actual books written on the benefits of getting up earlier and going to bed early! I’ve read a couple of them, and it makes total sense!
Making this change in my routine didn’t come easily to me, but once I embraced it, I was so pleasantly surprised at how much that one little change has made me a healthier, happier person.
Give it a try yourself, and see how you feel! If you’re like me, you’ll wish you had done it sooner!
Do you ever find sometime you’ll be going along pretty good in life, you know things are just chugging along great, and then something happens that lands you on your butt?
Well that happened to me last month. Literally and figuratively! I was unloading groceries from the car when I slipped on the ice and down I went. I landed on my butt, but not before putting my hand out to try to stop my fall.
After the initial embarrassment and giving a sheepish grin to the guy driving by slowly checking me out, I noticed the pain in my right wrist. Ouch! Great, I thought! I sprained my wrist! That’s just perfect!! It’s my dominant hand (of course it is!), and it’s our fiscal year end this month, I have a grant application and a budget due, and how am I going to do all of that with a sprained wrist?!
All that went through my head in a few seconds. My wrist was really hurting! I was at my Mom’s place when this happened and she is also an oiler, so I went in to see what I could put on my wrist to ease the pain until I could get home to ice it.
She had Lavender and Cloves, so I put both on. Thankfully, Billy, my husband, was there so he drove. I insisted that I didn’t need to go to the hospital, that it was likely just a sprain. I just needed to put some ice on it and it would be fine in a couple of days.
So we headed down the highway to our place, Billy looking concerned and me grimacing in pain, trying to breathe through it, and holding my arm.
We got about halfway there when I started feeling like I was going to pass out. “Maybe we should go back into town and go to the ER”, I said. “I don’t feel so good.”
So, back we went. By this time, it’s about 6 pm, and in a small town hospital, that means the X-ray technician is gone home already. Billy grabbed a bag of frozen vegetables out of the car and I held that on my arm while I waited. The doctor saw me, checked out my wrist, and figured it was probably a sprain. She wrapped it and told me to come back in the morning for an X-ray, just to be sure.
So the next day, Billy dropped me off at the hospital, I got the X-rays done, and waited to see the doctor on-call that day. And sure enough, he came in and told me he was pretty sure I had a hairline fracture. “What? You’re kidding! I’ve never broken anything in my life!”
Doc says, “Yeah, we’re pretty sure. A couple of us looked at it, and we can see what looks to be a break. But if you want, we can wait for the Radiologist to read it.”
At this point, my head is spinning, and I’m starting to panic. We had just booked a holiday, someplace warm, on a beach! I don’t want to have to wear a cast! In my head, I’m thinking, “what does this guy know? He’s not a radiologist! My arm can’t be broken.”
Now, the doctor was great, and trying to give me some options, he could put the cast on, and if it turns out it’s not broken, they can just take it off next week. Or he could give me a prescription for a brace that I can wear until we hear back from the radiologist. (Again, small town hospital, so no radiologist on site)
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, I just knew I really didn’t want my arm to be broken. And I was trying to “will it” not to be broken. (Have I mentioned that I’m a bit of a control freak? Haha!)
Anyway, finally the doctor decides to just call the radiologist, and sure enough, the damn thing is broken!
So, fine. I have a broken arm. It’s not the end of the world, right? Could have been worse. Of course these are the things you tell yourself to help you feel better. And they are true. But you know what’s also true? Having a broken arm sucks!
Having to figure out how to do everything with your left hand is a pain in the butt! But it’s also teaching me some lessons. I’m trying to slow down. I’m learning to be patient with myself, and I’m finding out how resilient I am. I’m even more grateful for my loving husband, and my caring family. (Thank you to my sister and my Mom for sending me meals and baked goodies!)
I’m also really grateful to my work family for their care and support, and to my Northern Lights Oily Family for understanding when I had to cancel events I had planned last month.
Sometimes life just throws you a curveball, and there’s nothing you can do but to deal with it the best way you can, and thank your lucky stars for all the blessings you have in your life, because there are so many!
I’m coming up on 3 years of sobriety here! Wow! How did that happen?
About 2 weeks after my Dad passed away, I woke up with a wicked hangover, and decided, that’s it! I’m done. This is stupid.
Drinking has always been part of my life, since I was about 16, when my friends and I would sneak bottles out of our parents’ homes and binge drink on weekends. Not every weekend, but still, not good.
Family gatherings at our place always meant lots of drinking. And for the most part, it was lots of fun. We were socializing.
I never felt like my drinking was an issue. I was just socializing like everyone else. Were there were times when I over-indulged? Sure, but what the hell? We were just “socializing”.
I enjoyed having a glass of wine to relax after a long day at work. And I enjoyed having a glass of wine while I was making supper. And having another one, or two, while I was watching tv at night. Nothing wrong with that, right?
I mean, I deserve it. I work hard. I’m an adult and if I want to have a glass of wine, why not? Right? Right?!
But after a while, waking up feeling crappy, groggy, and not well rested, was getting a little old. And I was getting a little older. Not to mention, I had decided to share my love of Young Living essential oils with people, and promote a healthier lifestyle. So it all felt just a little bit disingenuous.
It wasn’t the first time I’d woken up with a hangover and decided that was it! I was “Never Drinking Again!” I’d lost count of how many times I’d said that.
So why was this time different? You know what, I really don’t know. Maybe it was the fact that I had just lost my father, and I was afraid that I could easily start using alcohol as a crutch instead of just feeling my feelings. Maybe it was that the whole world had changed; it was the beginning of the “stay at home” orders and the pandemic had just been declared. Staying healthy seemed like a very good idea.
I think the biggest reason this time was different was because I had built a foundation for healthy habits already, by using my essential oils daily, by exercising on a regular basis, by drinking lots of water and by using all the tools I had learned over the years to stay grounded and present.
I just didn’t need alcohol in my life anymore, and I recognized that it definitely wasn’t serving me, so I decided to stop. I’d try not drinking for a week, and see how I felt. Then, when the week was over, I’d go for another week. Before you knew it, a couple of months had passed. I was walking every day. I was using my oils to stay grounded, and calm. Valor, Peace & Calming, and Release were my best friends..
I was feeling healthy. I was feeling proud of myself. I was living into my values, which felt really good.
Today, I’m so grateful that I made that decision. I’m a better Mom, Grandma, Partner, Leader because of it. And I truly believe that without my essential oils, and the support and love of my partner, I probably wouldn’t have been able to stay the course.
March 14th will be 3 years of sobriety for me. I’m feeling pretty good about that, and so, so grateful!
