"And so it begins.
The back-to-school shopping flyers have arrived and so, too, has the stress. Child mental health experts say the middle of August marks the start of their busy season. After a summer’s hiatus, mental stress starts to build as the school year looms. Whether it is a new class, a new teacher, a new job or school, transitions are hard at any age. By University age, the steps get bigger as young adults move out on their own - sometimes to a new city at a whole new level of school. Even as adults, the fall can trigger new levels stress where some emotional support is welcome - especially during times of change, loss, or dealing with trauma.
Is your child anxious or nervous for the first day of school? Or are you a Mom dropping off her little for their first day of Kindergarten? Or are you a teacher heading into a new year?"
From our Essential Collective Team
I have found emotional support blends incredibly helpful at releasing emotional patterns, lifting my mood, reducing stress responses, focusing my mind, and overcoming insecurity.
Try one of these roller bottle recipes to help calm nerves on the first day of school. Great places to apply are at the back of the neck on the brain stem, over heart, behind ears, along spine and bottom of big toes.
When making up rollers, use this for a dilution guide with a 10 ml roller bottle:
For ages 2-5 years old, 3-6 drops total of essential oils, fill to top with carrier oil of choice
For ages 6-12 years old, 6-10 drops of essential oils, fill to top with carrier oil of choice
For ages 12-15 years old, 10-15 drops of essential oils, fill to the top with carrier oil of choice
For ages 15+, depending on the oil you can use 10-30, fill to the top with carrier oil of choice.
Start Low and Slow:
Use the lower dilution rate until the body gets used to the oil - and start low on the body - the big toe is connected in reflexology to the head. It’s a good place to start, especially if you don’t love the smell of the oils… It’s far enough from the nose, but still lets the body absorb balancing support into the bloodstream and body cells.
PEACE ROLLER BOTTLE
Lavender*
Frankincense*
Lemon*
Add oils to 10 ml roller bottle. Top with carrier oil. Dilute according to age. (This would also help with immune support and is safe for young ones.)
KEEP IT CALM ROLLER BOTTLE
Lavender*
Stress Away
Optional: Vetiver, Orange
Add oils to 10mL roller bottle. Top with carrier oil. Dilute according to age.
BRAVERY ROLLER BOTTLE
Vetiver
Valor
Frankincense*
Add oils to 10mL roller bottle. Top with carrier oil. Dilute according to age.
CONFIDENCE ROLLER BOTTLE
Valor
Bergamot
in 10 mL roller bottle and dilute according to age with carrier oil of choice.
PRO-PARENT TIP: Get your kids to help you make up the rollers. This will give you a chance to talk about how they feel about going back to school, which roller might be the best fit, and open a conversation on how to deal with any feelings of anxiety and worry. Every body is different, and so it takes some experimentation to see which Essential Oils will most benefit you.
Helping your kids talk about emotions - giving language, normalizing and learning from emotions - is so important. I found it interesting to read that boys brains had very little connection between language and the emotional parts of the brain - while girl’s brains had lots… so boys may need a little more help and guidance with processing emotions.
Signs to watch for include unusual sadness or anxiety that shows itself with stomach-aches, crying, a fear of trying new things, an inability to make friends. A great parent resource is available at www.hincksdellcrest.org/abc. If you think this is more than first day jitters it would be wise to contact your family doctor.
FOR ALL OF US: These oils are great emotional support oils—so pull a roller out as you get ready for your first day of school or student orientation or before your next presentation or before taking that midterm or for whatever project you are working on that is making you feel a little bit jittery!
Roll your Brave on!
Roll your Brave on!
I was walking through a grocery store yesterday when a customer tried to rally people to her cause. She was proclaiming loudly that "the meat at this store is really inferior - do you ever buy the meat here? Look at it! It has at least 50% fat!" She shoved it toward me and asked me if I agreed. "Doesn't this look like it has 50% fat? That isn't even legal, you know!" I didn't. I responded that I was sure the store would abide by any food laws.
"Why would you believe that! You are only allowed to have 30% fat! I'm taking a picture and I'm going to report them!"
Any effort to calm her were in vain - and I couldn't get on her train. So we parted - she in high dudgeon and me to sigh and try to not carry her negative energy into my task.
I reminded myself that I had no idea what was going on in her life to create stress and make her react so loudly.
I also reminded myself to focus on performing a labour of love for my family!
What do you do when you encounter drama? Do you just walk on by? Do you try to engage? Or do you just smile and nod?
Yesterday was a food day - meaning I spent most of my day on food planning, buying and preparing.
After my shower, essential oil routine, and reading a daily reflection, I walked the dog and then fed him. Then I cleaned off the counter and I made breakfast smoothies for 4/5 of us. As I drank mine with my supplements, I made this week's meal plan and checked the cupboards to compile my grocery list. A few more household chores and a second dog walk delayed my trip to Costco. I stood in the -7 degree cold wind as the line moved slowly forward to the door to the warm inside. I was happy to exceed my step goal for the day by walking around the giant box store as I worked my way through my list. Feeding a growing teenager and two young men alongside Lance and I - alongside our various food restrictions - takes a full cart of varying healthy options! Getting the items through the check out and bagging them as I load the car is a good workout. The boys carried the large load into the kitchen where I put things in better portion sizes and found the right configuration to fit things in cupboards and fridge like a complicated game of Tetris. I sat down on the couch and read a book to rest after my labors. Then a request for an early supper got me back on my feet chopping veggies for Mulligatawny Soup and making extra veggie sticks for snacks and lunches.
I sat down tired at the kitchen table with the large pot simmering behind me when Andrew came up and asked about my day as he gave my a shoulder rub! Touch can be so humanizing - "I am not a machine measured by productivity and efficiency." It was pleasant to remember that I thrive on connection and understanding - compassion and relationship! As Andrew rubbed my shoulders - he is good at it! - I was reminded how much we need to connect. We all have emotional, relational needs that we can help each other meet with simple things like a 3 minute shoulder rub. We talked about things we'd been thinking about and shared the experience of being seen, heard and valued. It didn't take long. I was reminded that we all have a unique ability to put fuel in the tank for each other as we learn what speaks love to our people.
After some work tasks, yesterday ended with a cuddle on the couch with Lance and Cosmo watching a movie. Ahhh - simple pleasures.
Gary Chapman published many books about the Five Love Languages - a way of understanding what he was observing in his counselling practice. He talks about how learning to speak a person's primary love language radically affects attitudes, behaviour and a sense of security. It is clear that we behave differently when our love tank is full. As partners, friends, parents, teachers we are poised to make a great impact when we learn to speak the preferred language of the people we care for. Love is actions I choose to do to fuel the tank for another.
I'm aware that we have several tanks - physical, spiritual, social and emotional tanks that all need fuel and attentive care. Many of these needs are not up to others to fill. It is our unique responsibility to own our self care routines to make sure we are doing what we need to do to refuel for health and to have the resources to bring our best self to each day.
But, with Valentine's approaching, I wanted to focus on how we can be a blessing and learn to love well using Chapman's love languages for exploring. We all fuel a little differently and so it can be important to learn how to speak love differently to meet the needs of our close people. We often show love in our preferred language because that is the one we are most fluent in. It can be surprising to realize that the person we are trying to care for doesn't find our actions fuel for their emotional tank.
So often I hear friends say that their spouse cleans the kitchen and makes dinner, but what they really wish for is to hear encouragement or be given the gift of time together. One partner was speaking love through service, but it wasn't experienced as love by the other. It is so good to know that we can learn to speak our people's preferred language!
Love is a choice… so we start with deciding to choose loving actions trusting that the relational connection will flow from that whether we feel close right now or not.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude, Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been hurt. It is never glad about evil or injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
( I Corinthians 13: 4-8)
Patience, kindness, not being rude or selfish or keeping lists of ways the other hurt me are all actions we can do regardless of fluttery hearts and cupids. Love is actions that speak respect and care even if we don't like each other yet.
To avoid getting too long, today I'll just focus on the Language I experienced that triggered these thoughts today - the Love Language of Touch.
Physical Touch:
Loving touch communicates emotional connection and promotes healthy development for children and relationships. If this is someone's primary language, they will feel unloved and insecure without it.
I was wounded in the area of touch in my teen years and so grew to need a large personal space to feel safe. I remember a friend coming to visit and sliding her cold feet under my butt to warm them. That was uncomfortable for my space bubble - but obviously she thought nothing of it! :)
But I quickly learned as a parent that this love language was really important to all three of my boys. I knew I would have to work on getting fluent in this language fast. When they were small, it was natural to have them snuggle in for a story or nestle into my chest for a long cuddle.
Our morning routine in homeschool was to start with a bible reading and prayer and then pile on and around me to fill up the love tank with long hugs. Next was some physical activity - and then we were ready for learning! I found that when we started by pouring fuel into their love tank, the boys focussed better on the tasks and were more receptive to my leadership. Andrew was the most fluent in talking about when his love tank got low as he would ask for a hug.
As they got older, wrestling with Dad was a way to get close contact to fill the tank that appealed to their growing sense of 'guyness'. Lingering cuddles with Mom, were replaced with shoulder or foot massages. Even at 14, 18 and 21, my sons will lay their head on my lap or shoulder or ask for a hug when their tank is low. I listen if they want to talk - and if not, I pray over them as I rub their scalp knowing that God and I together can soothe, and care for the body and emotions.
How to speak Physical Touch:
Ask them what touch is pleasant and communicates care. It could be a touch on the shoulder, a foot massage, connecting by brushing shoulders in a crowd or giving their a squeeze hand when you know they need reassurance. People living alone in quarantine can give themselves a hug or shoulder rub to fuel the need for calming touch. Snuggling with a pet can also meet a need for closeness. For partners, holding hands on a walk, a warm welcome hug when they come home, or a snuggle together under a blanket while watching a movie can speak ‘connection’. Sexual intimacy will be a vital part of identity for people with this language.
How We Use Essential Oils to Enhance the Expression of Touch:
We quickly found that many essential oils are great for applying to the skin topically in a carrier oil like coconut or vegetable oil. We find Young Living Oils have given us our best results so we will reference those:
Massage Roller - We fill a 10 ml Roller Bottle with 10 drops each of PanAway, Copaiba, Peppermint and then top up with a Coconut Oil to use for back rubs, shoulder massage or for self care by applying anywhere we have pain or tension. It can really help some types of headache pain, too! What I like about this one is that I can use it for myself when no one is there to offer touch and still feel like it penetrates the muscle in a way that is soothing, communicates care and helps break up tension. (When we don't have this combination, Deep Relief Roller is our other favourite choice.)
Lavender & Frankincense are awesome for skin, immune and emotional care that is safe for children! Rubbing this combination into feet with a carrier oil is great for calming frustrated or grumpy children (and adults) and bringing a soothing calm. In a roller bottle, this combination is perfect for ouches, coughs, and soothing life’s bumps and bruises. Diffusing these oils can calm the whole mood of the house and help the body prepare for rest.
Even though the language of physical touch wasn't natural to me at first, it was awesome to find that I could learn to speak it fluently to love well those in my care who need love spoken this way!
As we lead up to Valentine's Day, I'll highlight the other four love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time!
Take a moment with your loved ones today to experiment and guess which language might be their favourite... and enjoy connecting and learning to fill the love tank!
SUPPORTING EMOTIONS WITH ESSENTIAL OILS
I have a confession. I have not always respected my emotions. From childhood, I was wired to experience life through my emotions first. Logic kicked in after to help me make sense of them. This made me extremely sensitive to cues from people around me. This meant that I would take an hour or two at the end of the day to sift and interpret those signals – a raised eyebrow or a scowl - a relieved glance or a sad look on the face of one who was excluded. I would create and recreate scenarios in my head to explore possibilities for changes I could make - a tone of voice, a line of humour, correcting behaviours to satisfy my conscience and fit in better with the tribes at school.
Then a trauma entered my life that had to stay silent and hidden. So emotionally, I learned how to distance myself from my feelings to appear happy and normal even when my heart was hurting. I didn’t want emotions to betray me and reveal the shame deep inside. I pushed my emotions away – at least the ones I saw as dangerous (anger, fear, desire, need, sadness). Trauma teaches that vulnerability is dangerous… Thankfully, as an adult, I landed in a safe place to live authentically, heal and become.
In marrying Lance, I gained a partner who experiences life first through reason and then emotion. Our partnership has been invaluable as I learn to accept my emotions as a strength to be shaped and guided. It was in my healthy marriage, and with a few great friends, that I rediscovered the power of emotions to signal me about need for change.
Anger often meant that a boundary was crossed – I was being driven or someone was pushing me to give something I didn’t want to give or trying to manipulate or pressure me in some way. I had to learn that it is not unloving to value ourselves and teach people how to treat us well. Boundaries are important as we navigate relationships. We learn to care for other’s needs and respect them (a need for silence, a step back, or giving them a voice to tell their preferences, beliefs, opinions and make their own decisions even when we disagree…) and ask for the same courtesy. Was there something to change or acknowledge that would lead to healthier relating? Anger was a clue.
Sadness was a clue about loss – a loss of a friendship, a feeling of being silenced or disregarded, or personal neglect of the soul’s needs. Was I silencing my soul to focus on pleasing others or trying to accomplish great things or perfectionistic to-do lists… was there a need to reconnect with God, others, and my core? Was I lacking authentic connections with loved ones? Had I withdrawn again? Depression is linked to isolation. What change needs to happen to tend well the garden of the soul?
Though emotions are helpful, I was very aware that they can’t lead my responses. Emotions need to be listened to, and then led to gain healthier ground. So how do we stay in the driver seat?
This post will focus on some supportive measures to help us manage well our emotional life. With deep trauma, essential oils may provide some support to assist the other measures taken to find wellness – counselling, therapy, healthy community, medical support. We all need to find the support we need to move toward wholeness.
A quick disclaimer before we get started: I am not a doctor, I'm a wife and home-school Mom - trying to do what's best for our family and choosing to be in the driver’s seat with my own health! Any information and advice given is just me sharing my journey and research and is meant to help educate and inform, not to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
How can oils benefit our emotions?
The olfactory nerves at the top of the nose are connected directly to the limbic centre of the brain where emotions are stored. This means inhaling essential oils can penetrate cell membranes and cross the brain-blood barrier within SECONDS. Essential oils are small enough to communicate with human cells and move through blood vessels. These oils support the body to come back into balance without harmful side effects. They can have a powerful influence over how we feel and many have stress relieving properties. Simply inhaling oils can be effective.
Emotional trauma can be defined as “any situation where you got less than you needed and were not equipped to process it.” These traumas actually get stored deep within our cellular memory in the brain's centre - the amygdala - which is affected best by scent. A New York University study found the only way to release fear from the amygdala (part of the limbic system) is through smell.
Essential oil compounds can actually work to repair and reprogram cellular memory!
+The limbic system of the brain is primarily responsible for our emotional life but also controls functions like adrenaline flow, behavior, motivation, long-term memory, and olfaction. So a scent can signal the body to restore balance. Essential oil fragrances release molecules that help stimulate or motivate, uplift or calm.
It’s easy to connect the dots between memory and scent. The smell of fresh salty air can trigger memories of restful beach vacations or the opposite - hard work if fishing was your livelihood. The smells of nature leave me feeling uplifted and energized, so I often find fresh minty or grounding scents affect me like a walk through the woods... Though taking time for a walk through the woods is important for emotional health, too, right?
Each of us find certain fragrances help us to release tension or awaken joy responses. This can be very individualized. But this post will focus on general characteristics of certain oils and how they may be helpful. Experimentation will be needed to find what works for you.
TRIGGERS AND FORMING NEW PATHS
What if a scent triggers a negative memory and emotion?
When a scent triggers a negative memory, it can help raise it from an unconscious body response to a conscious awareness. This awareness is what helps us begin to process the emotion in a healthy way. Emotions need to be digested to extract what is beneficial and let the rest pass through to release it from the body.
Have you ever responded emotionally in a way that puzzles you? The response was much bigger than the immediate situation called for. Something mildly frustrating or stressful becomes full out anger. We can lash out at those we love without meaning them any harm. Stepping back to examine our overblown response can help us get in the driver’s seat. Many times I have had to go back to my husband and children to apologize for my comment or emotion and explain that it was not them… but something triggered in me that I need to work out.
If you’re not sure where to start with your own emotions, start by looking at the behavior that triggered the outburst. Often, we are most irritated by the problems we subconsciously recognize in ourselves but react to in other people. Maybe it’s a loss of control or something unresolved in you that you are forced to face in a loved one.
My firstborn used to trigger my own sense of helplessness and fear of failure when he would give up easily facing a school task. I knew he could perform it, but he would quickly opt for the phrase: “I can’t.” I couldn’t do the task for him, but I couldn’t leave him stuck… so I would get frustrated with my own lack of clarity and control and also want to give up… but I was his teacher, so I couldn’t. When I didn’t know what to do, my frustration would peak. I could make a vulnerable moment for my child a lot worse by getting angry at him for it. Leaving the task that was frustrating us both for a while was the best way to get perspective. I would discuss the scenario with Lance and we would come up with some healthy ways to handle that moment when it came up again. Now, I pull out the diffuser as we work and stretch to learn new things. It can change the atmosphere and ready us for the challenge.
So, how can oils help?
Take the awareness of one emotion, one situation, one memory and look for an oil that will be beneficial - Sadness, Anger, Fear, Insecurity, Confusion, Stress.
Take your chosen oil and apply it to your wrists and the back of your neck. Then cup your hands over your nose and breathe deeply.
Focus on your emotion and what triggered it. You may want to journal or say it out loud to give it a conscious space. Naming fear or anger or sadness is part of addressing it. Hold it and then focus on letting it go (if you are a praying type, picture releasing it to God and asking God to guide and lead you with it). Then visualize or pray for the opposite spirit or emotion to fill the space– joy, courage, confidence, clarity, wisdom, peace. I like to picture the fruits of God’s Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control – because these are often the attributes I need. My imagination is helpful here as I picture how the change of emotion could calm my heart rate, ease my tension and create a fresh canvas of possibilities.
If you are working through a deep-seated memory or a deep rut that your brain has often travelled, this will be an emotion that is easily triggered and will need repeated attention, consistency, supportive relationships, and time. Essential oils may be helpful alongside other therapeutic strategies. I like creating an emotional support routine that I do daily for one month and then re-evaluate and change up oils as I figure out new areas of focus. This graphic suggests one routine you could embrace for a month. Or use oils you have on hand from the lists at the bottom of the blog. The Premium Starter Kit oils are all full of stress reducing properties.
GUT HEALTH
You might think that it’s strange to talk about your digestive system when discussing emotions. But the truth is, your gut and your brain are tightly connected and they communicate back and forth all day long!
The impact of poor gut health on the functioning of the brain has been scientifically linked to a range of illnesses including ADHD, autism, chronic fatigue, OCD, anxiety and depression.
Good or “friendly” bacteria help keep our gut healthy, aid in digestion, control metabolism, reduce toxins, absorb nutrients and keep our immune system running.
The hormones secreted during a stress response contribute to the overgrowth of bad bacteria.
So poor gut health can actually contribute to increased negative emotions!
“Let food be thy medicine,” said Hippocrates. The first steps in getting your gut healthy are eating whole, nutrient rich foods and drinking plenty of water.
A probiotic like Life 9 can be so beneficial. My chiropractor was told at a conference of natural practitioners that a probiotic of at least 15 billion per day is important to maintain adult health.
Ningxia Red also has a gentle cleansing and nourishing effect on the digestive system. I am testing out the digestive cleanse protocol from the book “Inner Transformations Using Essential Oils” by Deardeuff.
DIGIZE essential oil blend is the natural choice to support digestion. It contains Tarragon, Ginger, Peppermint, Juniper, Fennel, Lemongrass, Anise, and Patchouli. At first thought an oil blend designed for digestive discomfort may not come to mind when talking about oils and emotions. But for those who's emotional stress plays a big part in stomach discomfort this would be a great oil for you to look into! Because the gut communicates back and forth with the brain, Digize can ease stomach distress which translates to less stress. Digestive health communicates wellness and comfort to the whole body.
+ Make a roller of 8 drops Digize EO and 6 drops Peppermint EO in a glass 10 ml roller bottle and top up with a carrier oil. Roll over the abdomen right to left in the direction of the colon and massage it in daily or as needed for digestive support.
+ Combine 7 drops of Digize EO with 7 drops of Lavender EO in a 10 ml roller bottle with carrier oil for travel anxieties. Apply on stomach and wrists while travelling long distances.
SOME FAVOURITES FOR EMOTIONS
BERGAMOT:
Uplifting and relaxing, it is good for building confidence and enhancing your mood.
Helps Release Feelings Of:
Low spirits and fatigue.
Stress and anxiousness.
Nervous tension.
Helps Promote Feelings Of:
Sedation and relaxation.
Joy
Freshness
Energy
Ways To Use:
+ Place a few drops on a washcloth and place it over your chest while taking a hot shower.
+ Massage over the abdomen. (Possible sun sensitivity).
+ Diffuse in the mornings for an energetic start or simply put a drop in your hands, cup over nose and mouth, and breathe slowly.
+ Put in the diffuser for bedtime relaxation.
WORRIED DAYS
For anxious feelings, there are a number of great oils that are supportive tools to help support us in the ways that we need.
Peace & Calming - a blend that promotes relaxation and emotional well-being
Stress Away - a vanilla lime blend that lives up to its name as it chases the stress away
Frankincense - relaxes muscles and uplifts spirits while being a favourite for skin care
Lavender - calming, relaxing, balancing - great for skin
Copaiba - calming and skin care
Cedarwood - calming and hair care
Vetiver - grounding, calming, stabilizing
Valor - calming, inspiring scent
White Angelica - relaxing aroma that may enhance a sense of protection
To apply:
+ Diffuse individually or in pairs
+ Apply topically (according to dilution ratios - peel back label to read) to temples, back of neck, along the spine or to the bottom of the feet including the big toe
+ Apply to wrists... or to hands and cup over nose while inhaling deeply.
Favourite Roller-bottle Combinations:
1. Cedarwood, Lavender, Stress Away
2. Lavender, Frankincense, Copaiba
3. Stress Away in a carrier is great by itself
4. Lavender, Peppermint, Stress Away
These rollers can replace the harsh chemical fragrances to create natural perfumes.
Diffuser combos:
Cedarwood with Lavender - great before bed
Orange & White Angelica
Stress Away + Citrus Fresh.
White Angelica.
Release + Purification + Joy.
LOW DAYS
Valor - balances energy and may inspire
Joy - uplifting floral scent
Frankincense - uplifting, grounding aroma
Peace & Calming - helps calm all the moods and prepare the mind for rest (try massaging into feet before bed of yourself and your overactive children)
Bergamot - calming, mood lifting qualities
Ylang Ylang - calms negative energy, great hair tonic, may inspire a sense of peace
Patchouli - relaxing and clarifying
Orange - relaxing, uplifting, refreshing and energizing
+ Diffuse to fill the room and change the mood
+ Dilute and Apply topically to temples, back of neck and behind ears
+ Add several drops to wrist & inhale deeply
+ Add 5-10 drops to 1/2 cup of Epsom salts and mix into a warm bath to deliver magnesium to sore muscles and soothe an irritated and weary soul.
Progessence - apply 1-2 drops daily into wrists or inner arm.
Combine Bergamot, Ylang Ylang, Patchouli and Orange for a female happy hormone blend. These oils have a possible sun sensitivity - wear under clothing when out in the sun.
RELEASING ANGER
Ylang Ylang - may reduce frustration and dispel anger
Roman Chamomile - Stabilize and create emotional balance to address anger
Lavender - soothing and calming
Bergamot - relieves stress and low moods
Orange - promotes feeling of calm
Release - stimulates a sense of peace and emotional well being
Vetiver - grounding, calming, and stabilizing
Peace & Calming
+ Diffuse desired oils
+ Add several drops to Epsom salts and add to a warm bath (oils will float on the water without mixing them with the salts. Oils that can be worn neat are safe without mixing with salts but all others shouldn't be left to come into contact with skin at full strength as they float on top of the water.)
Roller Blend Ratios:
3 drops Bergamot, 1 drop Ylang Ylang - top with carrier oil
1 Chamomile, 2 Bergamot, 2 Orange
3 Orange, 2 Patchouli
Every one of us is different- definitely try various combos topically and diffused consistently as you seek out the best support for You.
My hope is that this post will give you confidence to experiment in finding the right support for emotional wellness in your home. Whether that means changing the mood after a crazy day out, or it means supporting new steps of bravery, my hope is that we will all move beyond survival to thrive in our everydays.
