Seen, Understood and Loved

I was reminded this morning how vital it is to know we are seen, heard, known and loved! I love the bible story of the lamb that was missed, sought and found by the shepherd! It is lovely to remember that the One who made us is always aware of our needs and steps in before we even know how to ask. 

As a young teen struggling with trauma, I'd go out into the woods and feel a peace and calm settle over me as I recognized God's care and understanding even though I didn't even know what I needed. I knew I wasn't alone in the best possible way - not the creepy way. 

Whatever this day is like for you, take a second to breathe deeply and know that you are seen, known and loved!

It's Only Fun if It's Fun For Everyone

It's Only Fun if It's Fun For Everyone
"It's only fun if it's fun for everyone."

When my boys were young, they thought it was fun to bug each other. I quickly started using this phrase to define fun. 

I remember being tickled and poked in the name of 'fun.' I remember boys on the playground at school stealing someone's hat to play keep away while the victim cried and yelled for them to give it back. 
On pink shirt day, we are saying 'no' to bullying in all its forms. 

We know when everyone's having fun - when everyone feels included - when the laughter is not at someone's expense - when no one feels labelled and dismissed - where we all get to feel important!

That's fun - for everyone! 

Have an awesomely fun week, friends!


Essentials for Healthy Hormones

Essentials for Healthy Hormones
In our learning space, Thrive With Essential Oils, we are focusing on gentle ways to support our hormones this month. 

In the medical world In the medical model, hormones have to be really out of whack to be significant enough to warrant intervention. If they are not medically significant they are labelled 'normal range'. But normal is not optimal! We don't have to wait for things to get bad enough to need medication. Our bodies warn us when they need some support. With diet and oils, we can do things that are supportive and helpful at cleansing and nourishing our body systems so they work better. Essential oils can work preventatively to nudge our bodies in the right direction to create balance and help for the whole endocrine system - adrenals, thyroid and all the rest from top to toe. 

I didn't know how much I needed support until I started to use balancing oils every day. Such a change to body temperature regulation, deeper rest, more even emotions, and a sense of wellness I haven't experienced in a long time. My blood work always showed 'normal'... but this is a new normal for me - and I am enjoying the difference. 

Here are a few products we are using this month as we focus on healthy hormones and intimacy!

Sensation Blend: Dilute for a luxurious daily moisturizer and diffuse for intimacy. $43
Clary Sage Essential Oil: For happy hormones. $61.50
EndoFlex: For balanced hormone levels. $35.50
Progessence Plus: For natural, bioidentical progesterone. $48
Super B Tablets: For natural energy & stress relief. $25.50
Orange Essential Oil: For happy, citrus vibes! $13.75

SENSATION ESSENTIAL OIL BLEND:
It features a blend of essential oils that help to create a beautiful aroma that is profoundly romantic, refreshing, and arousing. The unique blend of Geranium, Jasmine, Coriander, Bergamot and Ylang Ylang can encourage and amplify an atmosphere of love, excitement, and affection. This blend is also nourishing and hydrating for the skin.
Topical Use: Dilute 1 drop with 1 drop of V-6™ or olive oil to make a beautiful massage oil. You can apply as a perfume.
Aromatic: Diffuse up to 1 hour 3 times daily.
Geranium essential oil is commonly used in perfumes for its uplifting aroma.
Jasmine essential oil:
 helps develop a broader perspective with its romantic floral aroma—a very feminine aroma that embraces and exults the sacred masculine—and has been revered for centuries as a symbol of love and purity, harmonizing opposites to promote wholeness.
Ylang Ylang essential oil has a calming aroma that sets the mood for romance.

ENDOFLEX ESSENTIAL OIL BLEND: 
has a floral, soothing aroma that is distinctly feminine! This oil contains the naturally occurring constituent linalyl acetate, which contributes to its calming aroma. Clary Sage helps support healthy estrogen levels and also promotes the appearance of healthy-looking skin, making it a great oil for women!
EndoFlex Essential Oil Blend has a base of sesame seed oil with a wonderful scent of spearmint, sage, geranium, myrtle, nutmeg, and German chamomile. It is a daily hormone support blend. These ingredients work synergistically to create a balancing formula that supports a healthy endocrine system.

PROGESSENCE PHYTO PLUS:
This oil blend is made with natural, bioidentical progesterone (meaning our body recognizes and processes it as if our body made it) from wild yam to help balance hormones, promote well-being and feelings of relaxation, harmony, and balance. Featuring some of Young Living’s most-loved premium essential oils, including Frankincense, Bergamot, and Peppermint, this plant-based serum features naturally derived ingredients that support the skin’s natural moisture cycle and help nourish and moisturize skin.

SUPER B TABLETS: 
Super B is a comprehensive B vitamin supplement that provides all eight B vitamins, as well as bioavailable minerals, to provide the energy you need to feel great on the go. Super B features Orgen-FA, a natural folate source derived from lemon peels, and methylcobalamin, a source of B12 that's easy for your body to absorb. Combined with Nutmeg essential oil and bioavailable chelated minerals such as magnesium, manganese, selenium, and zinc, Super B helps maintain healthy energy levels, supports cardiovascular and cognitive function, and eases feelings of everyday stress.

ORANGE ESSENTIAL OIL:
Known as liquid sunshine, Orange essential oil has a sweet and uplifting aroma that brightens any room and cleanses the air when diffused. This happy citrus oil pairs well with just about anything and is a wonderful addition to roller blends and DIYs. I love it for mood support roller blends - try Frankincense, Joy and Orange together as a perfume! Great daily mood lifter!

Want to talk self care? Head to my home page and book a free self care conversation or sign up for my weekly email education. Want a learning community? We have Facebook groups for those who are just learning but don't have oils yet and an amazing team app with courses and resources for our customers! Let me know how I can support your wellness journey! 

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Prayer of Peace

I was sitting with my family last night and we were reflecting on how differently our Facebook feeds can be depending on what we have shown interest in. We are aware of the echo chamber of social media. Our preferred new sources, political and religious slants are echoed back to us to make us feel more justified in our perspectives. It's soothing to live in only one mindset and to not have to stretch to understand another point of view. 

There is a lot of division at this point in the pandemic. We have had two years of making the best of the hand we have been given, but there is fatigue, loss, fear, judgement, blame and anger expressed behind the divisions as people want this to end. 

My house has three guys who make decisions based on logic and want science and objective reality to be the guiding factors. Two of us are more tuned into the emotions of the people around us. We all want to be sensitive to the lenses we wear as we try to see the way forward. Our experiences, desires, losses and challenges create different mindsets that drive decisions. 

I guess the question that landed in my heart today was: What will we choose to amplify: fear, doubt, anger, tolerance, grace, understanding, peace? 

Today the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi was helpful to me as I look for a way to amplify productive movement. 


Jesus wanted us to move in unity of the Spirit of Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control. Those fruits are the nature of who God is. I'd like to be a conduit of that Spirit in the midst of a difficult, challenging, prolonged marathon this pandemic has been. Want to amplify love and grace with me as we seek to build bridges of understanding, empathy and hope as we help one another through the hardships? 

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi (Prayer for Peace)

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

 

The Love Language of Touch

The Love Language of Touch
Yesterday was a food day - meaning I spent most of my day on food planning, buying and preparing. 

After my shower, essential oil routine, and reading a daily reflection, I walked the dog and then fed him. Then I cleaned off the counter and I made breakfast smoothies for 4/5 of us. As I drank mine with my supplements, I made this week's meal plan and checked the cupboards to compile my grocery list. A few more household chores and a second dog walk delayed my trip to Costco. I stood in the -7 degree cold wind as the line moved slowly forward to the door to the warm inside. I was happy to exceed my step goal for the day by walking around the giant box store as I worked my way through my list. Feeding a growing teenager and two young men alongside Lance and I - alongside our various food restrictions - takes a full cart of varying healthy options! Getting the items through the check out and bagging them as I load the car is a good workout. The boys carried the large load into the kitchen where I put things in better portion sizes and found the right configuration to fit things in cupboards and fridge like a complicated game of Tetris. I sat down on the couch and read a book to rest after my labors. Then a request for an early supper got me back on my feet chopping veggies for Mulligatawny Soup and making extra veggie sticks for snacks and lunches. 

I sat down tired at the kitchen table with the large pot simmering behind me when Andrew came up and asked about my day as he gave my a shoulder rub! Touch can be so humanizing - "I am not a machine measured by productivity and efficiency." It was pleasant to remember that I thrive on connection and understanding - compassion and relationship! As Andrew rubbed my shoulders - he is good at it! - I was reminded how much we need to connect. We all have emotional, relational needs that we can help each other meet with simple things like a 3 minute shoulder rub. We talked about things we'd been thinking about and shared the experience of being seen, heard and valued. It didn't take long. I was reminded that we all have a unique ability to put fuel in the tank for each other as we learn what speaks love to our people. 

After some work tasks, yesterday ended with a cuddle on the couch with Lance and Cosmo watching a movie. Ahhh - simple pleasures. 

Gary Chapman published many books about the Five Love Languages - a way of understanding what he was observing in his counselling practice. He talks about how learning to speak a person's primary love language radically affects attitudes, behaviour and a sense of security. It is clear that we behave differently when our love tank is full. As partners, friends, parents, teachers we are poised to make a great impact when we learn to speak the preferred language of the people we care for. Love is actions I choose to do to fuel the tank for another.


I'm aware that we have several tanks - physical, spiritual, social and emotional tanks that all need fuel and attentive care. Many of these needs are not up to others to fill. It is our unique responsibility to own our self care routines to make sure we are doing what we need to do to refuel for health and to have the resources to bring our best self to each day.  


But, with Valentine's approaching, I wanted to focus on how we can be a blessing and learn to love well using Chapman's love languages for exploring. We all fuel a little differently and so it can be important to learn how to speak love differently to meet the needs of our close people. We often show love in our preferred language because that is the one we are most fluent in. It can be surprising to realize that the person we are trying to care for doesn't find our actions fuel for their emotional tank. 


So often I hear friends say that their spouse cleans the kitchen and makes dinner, but what they really wish for is to hear encouragement or be given the gift of time together. One partner was speaking love through service, but it wasn't experienced as love by the other. It is so good to know that we can learn to speak our people's preferred language!


Love is a choice… so we start with deciding to choose loving actions trusting that the relational connection will flow from that whether we feel close right now or not.


“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude, Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been hurt.  It is never glad about evil or injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

( I Corinthians 13: 4-8)


Patience, kindness, not being rude or selfish or keeping lists of ways the other hurt me are all actions we can do regardless of fluttery hearts and cupids. Love is actions that speak respect and care even if we don't like each other yet. 

To avoid getting too long, today I'll just focus on the Language I experienced that triggered these thoughts today - the Love Language of Touch. 

Physical Touch:  

Loving touch communicates emotional connection and promotes healthy development for children and relationships.  If this is someone's primary language, they will feel unloved and insecure without it.


I was wounded in the area of touch in my teen years and so grew to need a large personal space to feel safe. I remember a friend coming to visit and sliding her cold feet under my butt to warm them. That was uncomfortable for my space bubble - but obviously she thought nothing of it! :)


But I quickly learned as a parent that this love language was really important to all three of my boys. I knew I would have to work on getting fluent in this language fast. When they were small, it was natural to have them snuggle in for a story or nestle into my chest for a long cuddle. 


Our morning routine in homeschool was to start with a bible reading and prayer and then pile on and around me to fill up the love tank with long hugs. Next was some physical activity - and then we were ready for learning! I found that when we started by pouring fuel into their love tank, the boys focussed better on the tasks and were more receptive to my leadership. Andrew was the most fluent in talking about when his love tank got low as he would ask for a hug. 


As they got older, wrestling with Dad was a way to get close contact to fill the tank that appealed to their growing sense of 'guyness'. Lingering cuddles with Mom, were replaced with shoulder or foot massages. Even at 14, 18 and 21, my sons will lay their head on my lap  or shoulder or ask for a hug when their tank is low. I listen if they want to talk - and if not, I pray over them as I rub their scalp knowing that God and I together can soothe, and care for the body and emotions.


How to speak Physical Touch:

Ask them what touch is pleasant and communicates care. It could be a touch on the shoulder, a foot massage, connecting by brushing shoulders in a crowd or giving their a squeeze hand when you know they need reassurance. People living alone in quarantine can give themselves a hug or shoulder rub to fuel the need for calming touch. Snuggling with a pet can also meet a need for closeness. For partners, holding hands on a walk, a warm welcome hug when they come home, or a snuggle together under a blanket while watching a movie can speak ‘connection’. Sexual intimacy will be a vital part of identity for people with this language. 


How We Use Essential Oils to Enhance the Expression of Touch:


We quickly found that many essential oils are great for applying to the skin topically in a carrier oil like coconut or vegetable oil. We find Young Living Oils have given us our best results so we will reference those: 

  • Massage Roller - We fill a 10 ml Roller Bottle with 10 drops each of PanAway, Copaiba, Peppermint and then top up with a Coconut Oil to use for back rubs, shoulder massage or for self care by applying anywhere we have pain or tension. It can really help some types of headache pain, too! What I like about this one is that I can use it for myself when no one is there to offer touch and still feel like it penetrates the muscle in a way that is soothing, communicates care and helps break up tension. (When we don't have this combination, Deep Relief Roller is our other favourite choice.) 

  • Lavender & Frankincense are awesome for skin, immune and emotional care that is safe for children! Rubbing this combination into feet with a carrier oil is great for calming frustrated or grumpy children (and adults) and bringing a soothing calm. In a roller bottle, this combination is perfect for ouches, coughs, and soothing life’s bumps and bruises. Diffusing these oils can calm the whole mood of the house and help the body prepare for rest. 


Even though the language of physical touch wasn't natural to me at first, it was awesome to find that I could learn to speak it fluently to love well those in my care who need love spoken this way! 

As we lead up to Valentine's Day, I'll highlight the other four love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time! 

Take a moment with your loved ones today to experiment and guess which language might be their favourite... and enjoy connecting and learning to fill the love tank!


 
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