"Life is not exhausting you - your thoughts are exhausting you." 
- Kelsey from our Life Steps Biz Zoom Call

Have you ever had someone say something and it zings you? I mean it resonates deeply and rings on in your mind as you process it? 

After last night's biz team call, this is the phrase that was zinging! 

I am a chronic over thinker! It is part of navigating a social world as an introvert, and part of the hypervigilance learned from trauma. 

What thinking processes wear me out? 

Indecision. I am a process person and like to gather as much information as I can before I decide something. But this can make even simple decisions a lot of work. What should we have for dinner? Should I say yes or no to that opportunity? Should I stay or should I go? Once I make up my mind, I feel energized by the decision and can get to work making it happen. I am learning to trust my gut more and just move to a decision. If I need to process, I'm learning to talk out loud to my dearest ones who know me best. When I make a decision, I'm learning not to second guess it... But I am going to have to keep learning how to put habits and rhythms in place that keep me from having to keep making the same decisions over and over - because that's exhausting! 

Fear. I have always lived life in the tension between faith and fear! I see with eyes of faith and am moved to act with compassion and energy in the direction of my dreams and creative expressions. Then...

Self doubt. I wonder if what I offered was good enough. I wonder if the impulse rose from me or God - and wonder if I can trust myself. Childhood sexual abuse hit this one hard since shame came easier than confidence. Self doubt is draining and causes me to beat myself up emotionally in ways that fuel autoimmune responses in my body. I can't heal and allow shame and self contempt space. They are at cross purposes. Healing mode is the rest and peace place where my heart lives in gracious openness to joy and beauty. Brene Brown calls it whole-heartedness. I call it wisdom - and a place to reset to daily and sometimes hourly! My oils really help me tie fragrance to an affirmation to nudge my mindset in the right direction! 

Failures that I refuse to let go of. Replaying failures instead of successes is so tiring!! I am learning to count my wins at the end of the day. It really helps me to rise the next morning with expectancy and eagerness instead of dread. But I have some work to do to displace years of replaying the wrong moments. Just writing this down reminds me that an end of the day win celebration would be a good move for me and my family! 

What are the mindsets that drain energy away from living the life you envision? Pray for me, and I'll pray for you! We need God's help to grow beautiful fruit that is inspired by how we are designed. Let's choose to release the patterns that hinder and entangle, so we can run the race marked out uniquely for us! (Hebrew 12:1-3)



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