I wanted to share this awesome perspective from my friend, Courtney Critz who is a top leader in my Young Living team but keeps such a great perspective on life, parenting and what matters!
"In case no one’s told you lately, you are no more worthy because your house is clean, or your kids are behaving, or your meals are home cooked, or your spaces are decorated, or you’re ready for the most epic holidays, or you all read together for an hour today. You are no less worthy if nothing happened except everyone ate something, and had some conversations, and stayed in one piece.
It’s also okay to want all of those goal things. You desire them because they are sweet, good things, and it’s OKAY to really want them and to find the space and the energy to create as many beautiful moments as you can, to be active and productive for and with your people. As long as the activities and the goals don’t become more important than the people we’re doing them for. That imbalance comes when the decorating is to prove we have value. Or the cooking is how we show we’re important. Or the cleaning is how we measure up to our impossible standard. Or the business is how we show women are valuable."
Know that whether this is an errand day, a baking day, or a rest day - you are seen and known and loved by the One who made your value a done deal.
I'm going to go do nothing with my guys for awhile!
Happy Saturday!
Throwback picture of Andrew hanging out with his Dad doing nothing in particular!
James commented last night that we get tight muscles when we use our muscles and when we don't!
Lance and I learned early on that we couldn’t rest on yesterday’s love - we needed to find fresh expression everyday. Emotional contentment feeds security, creativity, connection and brings out the best in us!
Often people that are acts of service people will offer love in their own language. But if their partner or child or team-mate need quality time, words of encouragement or physical touch, the service won't reach it's intended target of filling the emotional tank. It can be puzzling when our efforts don't result in our people feeling loved.
Acts of Service:
Doing things you know the other would like you to do for them is a love language that fills the tank of a person with this preference. It can be ordinary things like making a meal, doing the laundry, vacuuming the rug. Identify what would communicate love to your loved ones. Ask them to name four things that if you do them regularly would fill their emotional tank.
This is my husband, Lance’s favourite way to experience love. Everyday I know that if I make him a morning smoothie and dinner, refill his drawers magically with clean laundry, keep our relationship a healthy safe space, and partner with him in managing our finances or house jobs, I am filling up his emotional tank. He always notices and comments on how much he enjoys meals and appreciates my efforts. Early on he taught the boys to thank me for every dinner I make. I love words of affirmation and appreciation - so this works well for us! He also speaks this language as a labour of love daily in dishes, fixing things, and taking on the unpleasant tasks that no one else volunteers for.
How to speak the Love Language of Service:
Getting to a chore that has been put off will speak louder than a dozen roses. Working together on a project and investing time in a shared passion will be very bonding and meaningful.
Using our Thieves Household Cleaner around the house makes our shared space warm, inviting and healthy. Thieves scent speaks calm, immune and adrenal support to create a healing environment while doing the jobs that matter to our loved ones with this love language. Early in our marriage, Lance voiced a preference for clean surfaces and floors, but he never notices dust - so I focus my first energy on things that matter to him.
Purifying the air with Thieves or Purification for prevention or during grimy house jobs can make a big difference to feeling supported while we work. Lance worked on basement mold one day and started to feel ill. Moving the diffuser and Purification into the space cleared the air so he could finish a nasty job. Tackling nasty jobs is one of the ways Lance shows his love for our family.
Diffuse motivating oils like Lemon & Peppermint to energize you for the tasks - and remind yourself of the labour of love they are!
Taking time regularly to assess needs with our loved ones can lay the foundation for trust, confidence, peace and connection. I find my guys are more receptive to growth, feedback, and disagreements when we come with a clear knowledge that we are valued, respected and cared for.
Learning about love languages gave me hope that even if I'm not fluent in my loved one's languages - I can learn them. Even when it is uncomfortable for me, my family and friends appreciate my efforts. Becoming somewhat fluent in all the languages help us love well the people in our families, workplaces and those placed in our care.
Receiving Gifts:
A gift is a tangible way to express caring thoughts. It is something symbolic that says: “I'm thinking of you.” This person also wants the gift of presence during a crisis - in fact it is extremely wounding to be absent at these times. Making the effort to 'be there' in critical moments speaks loudly of love.
“This is my Mom’s love language. She loves surprises being remembered with visits, flowers, even small tokens of affection. She keeps every drawing given to her from her Grandchildren! By far, the hardest thing for her to sort through and dispose of are memorabilia. Each object holds a memory that reminds her of a special person or moment in her life. I’ve been helping her clean up the storage area in her basement and I kept losing her to nostalgia and calling her back to the task since she wanted to get this job done in the few hours I was there. We put aside a box of old photos as a reward to look at when the task was done!“
Lance surprised me one Christmas by arranging some musician friends of ours to record with me the songs I’d written. Though this isn’t one of my top love languages - that one registered a big infusion into my emotional tank! And it was a project together - what language does that speak?
How to speak the Love Language of Gifts:
Thoughtful gifts are an investment in your relationship, but don't have to be costly. Gifts have to be accompanied by thoughtfulness and sincerity to feel authentic. They say: “You are appreciated and known and remembered!”
Oils to enhance this language:
Make up a personal roller or blend that reminds this person of special moments you’ve shared or responds to a specific need that they voiced and surprise them with it. Or create a scent you associate with time together and make it your own! Package it in a way that communicates knowledge and care.
A Walk through the woods - Northern Lights Black Spruce, Lemon, Frankincense
A Spring Day/ Happy Vibes - Lavender, Lemon, Peppermint
Christmas Baking - Thieves, Peppermint, NLBS OR the blend called: Christmas Spirit
Calming & Unwinding Together - Lavender, Frankincense
What about you? Is this your favourite love language? Tell a story of a special gift. Do you have an oil that is attached to a significant memory for you?
