It's officially spring here in Texas, and I am happy for more sunny days. But, as I sit to type, I am perplexed about what to share. I wish I had a big success to tell you about, but I don't. So instead, I have some mistakes to share with sprinkles of achievements.
When I tested clear to eat rice and quinoa grains, I immediately added in rice, and with it came the ability to do more microwave meals. Yes, this means I am not eating the paleo diet anymore. The drawback is many of the gluten-free, rice meals also included corn and dairy, like Tex-Mex entrees. I gave myself permission to eat them and see what would happen. While continuing to be gluten-free, I stopped being strictly dairy and corn free. Which in my brain was worth it because I was tired of cooking so much. I am good at rationalizing, and I knew I needed a break in the kitchen.
I have been on sugar for a while, and it is a hard habit to break. I needed a break from so many restrictions. I have not had a lot of pain from it, but I had also been limiting my movement to rest my heel. So no biking and limp walking around the house has been about all the exercise I have done. I increasingly feel like a failure because I have gained a few pounds back.
My thoughts towards myself can be rigid, all or nothing, and I strive to have self-grace. I have been in this head-space for a while and am starting to get out of it. I have not wanted to admit this or write about it, so it is a win that you are reading this confession. Why is it we are so hard on ourselves? Yet, when I sit down to count the positives, they outweigh the negatives!
Two upcoming trips have helped me get out of this self-critical mental cycle and given me some goals. Before I travel, I will need to improve my ability to walk distances, fly comfortably, and get up earlier.
I've asked Greg to walk with me after dinner, and it takes a lot of mental resilience right now to get around the block since my right hip gets super tight about the halfway mark.
Getting off sugar and continuing my excellent supplements (especially MSM and turmeric) will help lessen the inflammation pain. As I write this, it is helping to hold me accountable for this intention. Here's a plus, I have continued to take my premium supplements! We all know the addictive nature of sugar, and I grew up earning dessert after every childhood dinner if I cleaned my plate. I grew up on Kool-Aid and occasional ICEEs from K-Mart as a treat. Getting off sugar and limiting my carbs will also mean more home- cooking. It's a commitment to myself, and I am worth it. I know it is a lifelong battle to fight, and I am up for the next round.
Those with autoimmune issues are constantly in survival mode to stay well. Not only do we fight against the marketing ploys of the grocery stores and markets, the temptations, and the scale, but we also know our bodies are waging an internal war against themselves. Our cells are miscommunicating and trying to keep us healthy but are harming us instead. Unfortunately, there is no known cure for Celiac disease, rheumatoid arthritis, Hashimoto's, Graves disease, type 1 diabetes, or the hundreds of other autoimmune diseases.
Along with walking, I am cycling again. Ok, I've been back on my bike once, and it was good. Not only do I need to build up my heart and lungs, but my muscles in my knees to protect the injuries and to stretch my heel tendon. I am picturing the 1-degree example of James Clear in his book Atomic Habits. "If you get one percent better each day for one year, you'll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you're done." That is a great visual to encourage me to get on the bike and do it just today. And repeat that successful thinking and action.
My dad was right; the first choices to eat better are at the store! When I add dairy-free ice cream bars to my cart, I know I will eat them. But if I do that, I am saying yes to sugar. So, I'm committed to adding more fruit in place of refined sugars as I write this to myself and share it with you. If I continue to add gluten-free prepackaged products, which have been sustaining me in this cooking hiatus, I will continue to be in the sugar loop. Honestly, the muscle that has gotten tired is the one of making good food choices.
A friend told me about a great paid app to save the recipes I find online to a digital library. It's called Plan to Eat. "Meal planning can save you money on food costs, improve eating habits, and encourage families to eat together more often. The Plan to Eat app is the perfect tool for making meal planning an unobtrusive part of your daily routine. Some key features of the app include: the ultimate cookbook, share with friends, plan every meal, shop with purpose, start cooking, step by step, keep planning, even in the grocery store, stay in sync." (Yes, it has an affiliate program, let me know if you want my link).
Another success is a thinking tool I have learned. One of my business coaches taught me "thought modeling." The Model teaches that your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions, and your actions create your results.
Graphically, this is explained by the following chain of events:
CIRCUMSTANCES → THOUGHTS → FEELINGS → ACTIONS → RESULTS
So, while I am not winning in my restrictive eating, weight loss, and pain, I know I can take my thoughts captive. I am learning to have self grace and see this cycle is temporary. I have hope in better eating for my needs and caring enough about myself to do it. I am thankful for my optimism and this space to put my words into digital print.
Having two calendared events has helped me grab my boots by the straps and write this entry. I am very grateful for the freedom to travel safely and the money to spend on these activities. And these are not just any activities, these are life-building events. I will be meeting people that have helped me stay sane during this long-term isolation. I have met them online and will meet them in person for the first time!
Tell me, friend, what motivates you towards your goals?
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